I post often about my kids, especially my toddler son Rampage (age 2.5). It’d be easy to imagine it’s all sunshine and playing with no discipline. I’m a huge advocate for affectionate fatherhood. But raising your children without firm discipline is abuse, not love. Thread/
-
-
He got mad and tried to bite his baby sister’s fingers this weekend. I don’t ever hit my son but when I’m angry, it’s intense and I let him see the full expression of it. The resulting talk is stern and commanding, requires verbal response on his part, and allows no excuses.
Show this thread -
The rare time he angers me in such a way, he’s ashamed and supplicating. He comes to me for approval, apologizes to his sister, and tries to make it better. And then I welcome him back and show him he’s loved. Punishment doesn’t drag on so he feels excluded. We stay a family.
Show this thread -
One mistake people make when they buy a 3/4 wolf dog is they believe it will act like a dog. They punish it and then walk away or they keep throwing nasty glares and harsh words afterward. Wolves have re-acceptance rituals and if you don’t do them the wolf feels shut out.
Show this thread -
Kids are the same. If you’re punishing your child to assuage your anger and just vent it at them so they “feel sorry” and keep venting all day, they feel crushed and rejected. Brief discipline with an explanation and then re-acceptance rituals are huge to maintain trust.
Show this thread -
He’s two years old. He throws tantrums and hits and bites and screams and demands things be his way. But those behaviors are tapering off fast even before his third birthday. Careful training, explanation, and unfailing consistency are key in discipline.
Show this thread -
How many adults do you know who can delay gratification for 12 hours? Stop themselves in the middle of anger and talk it out? Respect a firm No without wiggling around it? My son at 2 is more mature than many modern adults. It’s all in the balance of love and discipline.
Show this thread -
Fathers, we are not raising children. We are raising adults who will turn 30 and vote and work in offices and eat in restaurants and marry and love and do business and have kids. Your child can either become a helpful ally or a miserable burden to others. Instill discipline.
Show this thread -
Love your children by disciplining them. Anything less is abuse and failure on your part and prepares them for a life of misery.
Show this thread
End of conversation
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.