My father had it incredibly rough growing up. Before he was born his mother left his father in the middle of the night and fled across the US, 3,000 miles. Took away his legal name. Didn’t give him a name until he was older. Got married and gave him his stepdad’s name. Thread:
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She told him his stepdad was his real father. His stepdad was violent and abusive. When my father was 15 he was tiny and thin, so his stepdad tried to sell him to the mafia who owned the nearby race track. Stepdad died before the deal went through.
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My grandmother told my father “Don’t cry over him, he wasn’t your real dad anyway.” Told him his dad was a violent drug addict who committed suicide and his family was evil, and she was all he had so he shouldn’t go looking. He listened and obeyed her.
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Years later he started to question her story. Pressured her for the truth. She kept changing it. His birth records were sealed and she wouldn’t help open them. Wouldn’t give him names. Silenced his siblings so they wouldn’t speak. As death neared, she shared a name and city.
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He agonized over whether or not to search. He’d been told his father was a brutal killer, a member of the mafia, a drug addict, and a suicide. That his family might kill my father and his kids out of bitterness and revenge. After years, grandmother died. And he went looking.
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He found out his father has been alive all along until my father was 45. He’d never had other children but told everyone he wished he had a son. Everyone called him a gentle man, he was known as one of the most Catholic men in his town. Everyone remembered him for being loving.
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My father was crushed under grief and rage. His mother was dead so he could get no closure from five decades of lies and betrayal. His father had wanted him all along and died without knowing he existed. My father spiraled into despair and grief for years.
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Because he’d been a workaholic all his life to uplift us from poverty (his father had been well off so our financial struggle proved to be unnecessary all along if grandmother had just stayed) he had massive heart issues from stress. Had a heart attack at 61. Quintuple bypass.
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After six decades of lies and betrayal and grief he is finally coming out of his nightmare and enjoying his new grandchildren. His story serves as a warning on many counts.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
It is very sad, but there's hope woven throughout - mostly because of what I've seen in you.
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