My own father was an uneducated workaholic and I barely saw him growing up. He had to work himself to pieces at multiple low-wage jobs to keep us fed and housed, and he could barely afford the mortgage for the dangerous neighborhood where we lived.
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The last time I spent significant time playing with my dad and laughing and huge quantity time, I was 6 and he got laid off for 6 months. We spent every day together and we were so happy. Hasn’t happened since. Work is his everything.
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I think of that six months quite often as I strive to uplift my family from our generational poverty. I work two jobs now and my days are incredibly full. But I schedule intense personal time with my kids every week to make sure they feel loved and know who I am.
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I see a lot of men pushing each other to work more hours and have five side jobs and never stop earning. I get the ambition and the hunger. I’ve eaten discarded food because my family couldn’t afford groceries. The hunger for security is very real.
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But we must also take time to value and nurture those around us. Cultivate our children and our wives and our friends. Remind them they are loved. Impart wisdom. Build supportive memories for their later hardships. This is also part of fatherhood.
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And we must schedule these things so they get done. Leaving our children to fit into gaps from work means they will only ever get droppings and will frequently be shoved aside and forgotten. Schedule time with your kids and your family. Make them a priority and schedule it.
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It’s a sacred calling.
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