Forgiveness is not a feeling. You will never magically make yourself feel good about someone. Good feelings can grow from shared experiences of openness and meeting needs. But forgiveness is in action, not a tingly feeling. Feeling flows from the connection made during action.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
Sad realization that I never heard such an explicit and simple explanation of this...
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Replying to @galev_ph
Most haven’t, we have this magical tingly feeling expectation.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
The closest I ever heard was an anecdote about a holocaust survivor who became a priest publicly forgiving one of the soldiers that abused them. Not even sure if it was real... But it describes the same: first came the forgiving action, then the relief.
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Replying to @galev_ph
Exactly. Just as “Faith without works is dead,” forgiveness is in the actions we extend to the trespasser. A tingly feeling means nothing and helps no one grow.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
Honestly, this is kind of liberating. I don't have to feel shitty because I don't feel the right things. Or at least not that much...
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Replying to @galev_ph @TheBrometheus
Forgiveness is hard though, I mean sometimes especially tricky. Because how do you forgive if you were repeatedly wronged? Where is the line between forgiving and letting others abuse you?
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Replying to @galev_ph @TheBrometheus
That's the hard part--for me, anyway. I've been treating it as a sort of "forgive but don't forget" thing (I'll forgive you, but that doesn't mean I trust you anymore), but I don't know if that's Biblical or not.
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Replying to @eclectic_evntde @galev_ph
Forgiveness does not mean becoming a doormat, but it does necessitate offering the person a way to earn the trust back. Whether they choose to take the offer or not has nothing to do with your forgiveness.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @galev_ph
Right. And folks have to realize that earning trust back takes time.
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True repentance means accepting consequences with humility, yes. So long as the terms for earning the trust back are fair and given in the spirit of charity and love.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @galev_ph
Indeed. It's a tough balancing act, and I probably don't do it very well.
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