Jenny Lawson’s Tweets

Bestselling author looks back at Broadway bookstore's first year

, about the store’s 1-year anniversary of being open to the public.

@mySA

mysanantonio.com

The COVID-19 pandemic kept Nowhere Bookshop's doors closed for a year.

1

18

194

Jenny Lawson Retweeted

Jess

@its_jessi_grace

Aug 19

After being lost from his Dad for three years, you can see the second this sweet pup recognizes him. 🥺🥲🥰 Nothing beats a pet reunion ❤️❤️❤️

3,376

46.5K

431K

Aug 19

Hunters S Thomcat has confiscated my to-do list and the scissors so I have to stop working now. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules.

75

56

2,251

Aug 19

This week has been insane and you need to come into my office and watch these videos right now. They are medicinal. Bring a chair.

I’ve been gone all week because of a series of small but exhausting crisises (crises?) including Hailey giving themselves a concussion after falling into a pole from laughing too hard (which …

Where have I been?

11

14

208

Aug 17

It’s so hard not to hyperfixate on the shittiest people when they’re the loudest and most shockingly wrong, but it’s okay to just unfollow them and spend your time focusing on the not-terrible people. I’m telling myself this too. #walkawayfromassholes

36

80

1,116

Aug 17

I was giving Hailey the side-eye bc apparently they gave themselves an actual concussion from laughing too dangerously and then they reminded me that I once herniated a disc from brushing my hair too hard and this is basically how I know that they are my child.

33

16

1,510

Topics to follow

Sign up to get Tweets about the Topics you follow in your Home timeline.

Carousel

Aug 16

We’ve all come a long way, y’all.

1

199

10 years ago I was printing

@jennettemccurdy

’s face on Hailey’s birthday cake. Tonight I’m talking to her about her astounding memoir that is selling out everywhere. eventbrite.com/e/jennette-mcc

9

8

498

When you stay up until midnight reading a thrilling book you can’t put down and then it ends suddenly without wrapping anything up.

35

16

586

Aug 15

Lactose intolerant so I switched to soy milk but apparently I’m severely soy intolerant too so at this point my choices are “bones that don’t dissolve like pixie stix” or “uncontrollable shitting” and I think I’m going to be one of those weirdos that eats cereal with water.

502

29

1,806

Aug 14

My brain at 8pm: I’m so exhausted. I’m going to sleep hard tonight. My brain at 1am: HOW DO ANTS WORK?

77

226

3,569

The Book Case Podcast - ABC Audio

Aug 12

This week I got to be on one of my favorite podcasts:

abcaudio.com

Are you stuck in a reading rut? The Book Case makes the case for books outside of your usual genre. Wander the aisles of your local bookstore with Kate and Charlie Gibson and meet fascinating...

2

7

125

Aug 12

Someone just asked me if it’s true that ADD meds are more addictive than heroin. I’ve forgotten to take my ADD meds for the last three days in a row. If you can forget you’re addicted to heroin then yeah, it’s probably the same thing.

457

4,695

56.6K

Hear me out:

satellite. Bookstore upstairs. Cask of Amontillado wine bar and corse storage below. Someone set us up the go-fund-me.

Quote Tweet

Zillow Gone Wild

@zillowgonewild

· Aug 10

When a listing starts with “Do you love Natural Bridge Caverns” you know it’s going to be great. Currently listed for $875,000 in San Antonio, TX.

Show this thread

38

22

891

Aug 10

thebloggess.com/2022/08/10/the HOW??

The end of the beginning. The beginning of the rest.

Today is Hailey’s first day of their senior year so we went outside to take our annual photo and I got a bit teary when I told Hailey that this will probably be my last time taking a first-da…

34

19

680

Aug 9

This #BookLoversDay I salute everyone who doesn’t leave the house without two books in case they finish one and have to face the nightmare of being stranded in the real world.

61

86

1,386

Aug 8

It's a good month for reading, y'all.

It’s a good month for reading

This month’s Fantastic Strangeling Book Club choice is so, so good. It’s The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean. I devoured this atmospherically creepy and gorgeous novel. Well, not literally. …

6

8

192

Aug 6

Happy Caturday from Hunter S Thomcat.

40

30

1,245

Aug 5

Omg, it’s real. Hailey is beyond thrilled. Thank you, Twitter.

Quote Tweet

· Aug 5

Hailey insists they used to watch tapes of a live-action morality tale kids tv show where a daycare lady has a talking tree in her house & the kids learn not to be hoarders or have eating disorders? One girl cries so much she floods the backyard? Anyone remember this?

Show this thread

39

6

487

Aug 5

Also, the tree was “maybe British and the lady may have had a crush on a mailman or something.” One kid spent all day picking sesame seeds off his bun and another had too many toys so their dolls couldn’t find each other? This is all a fever dream, right?

14

2

216

Hailey insists they used to watch tapes of a live-action morality tale kids tv show where a daycare lady has a talking tree in her house & the kids learn not to be hoarders or have eating disorders? One girl cries so much she floods the backyard? Anyone remember this?

27

11

304

Cats who have invisible back legs have a 100% chance of being a good boy, which is the same chance of my vet giving me a pamphlet about cat diets.

26

28

1,079

Aug 3

Maybe you’re one of those people, who help friends or strangers or go the extra mile to say, “here’s what I can do” or even just, “that’s not okay and I’m sorry” please know that you make a difference.

32

24

1,087

I have been dealing with one of the most frustrating events of my life this last week and I’m not going to write about it until it’s resolved but it is teaching me that even in the worst situations there are people who want to help and this is the only thing keeping me upright.

79

16

2,112

Show this thread

Jenny Lawson Retweeted

Replying to

Comedy is timing.

3

19

228

Aug 3

I can’t tell if this 5am anxiety attack is really late or really early but either way it’s welcome to fuck the fuck off.

34

17

1,248

Aug 1

I assure you, I am housebroken: thebloggess.com/2022/08/01/i-a #dogsareweirdthatwillbe400dollars

I assure you, I am housebroken.

Just a follow up to this Twitter post… …which elicited concerns of “God, I really hope it’s not you, Jenny” until I realized this issue and followed it up with this: And that elicited r…

20

13

495

Jenny Lawson Retweeted

Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

Jul 29

A Message to and from Mister Senator Ted Cruz...Attorney at Law #PassthePactact

8,891

112.8K

273.6K

Jul 29

Oh Goddammit that was supposed to include this picture of Dorothy Barker.

95

12

2,084

Guess who’s had diarrhea all over the floor for three days and just bit her doctor during an anal exam? #FUNTIMES

138

46

1,447

JUDY SNARLAND FUREVER.

So the other day Victor and I were at a resale shop and I saw this little bit of fried gold. And Victor was like, “That is toddler’s tutu and we don’t have a toddler” and I …

Judy Snarland furever

34

33

495

Jul 26

Notes from my copyeditor that make me grateful I have people smarter than me on my team.

25

20

1,002

Jul 23

If you happen to be in the Denver airport I just signed a bunch of books at The Tattered Cover by the B gates.

39

29

1,571

Jul 23

You guys are very good guessers.

14

170

Guess where we are today?

41

5

292

He’s a better husband than he is a documentarian. instagram.com/tv/CgWqgriAvs7

14

6

286

Leaving

today we found a…metal wall of locked P.O. Boxes (?) left in the garbage bc ppl don’t recognize treasure. Victor: But what would you do with it? Me: WHAT WOULDN’T I DO WITH IT? Now I just need someone who can pick 30 locks.

157

51

2,104

Jul 21

A live look at me falling the fuck apart right now. I'll be okay. You will too:

I tried to write this but I couldn’t. Sorry. Oh Goddammit. This doesn’t even work. I fucking quit. UPDATE: I uploaded it youtube. Who knows if this will work:

Sometimes it’s hard

78

34

619