Okay, that’s it. I quit stand-up comedy. Because I cannot come up with a better punchline than what stone-sober reality has just handed me. Today is the first day of mandatory customer mask use at my retail day job. There is a guy walking my store in a gas mask right now.
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But second, regarding what I call the Shirt Manifesto, can I get that in writing, please? A vaccine? Tested and approved by science? That EVERYONE has to take? Which would literally exterminate coronavirus so we don’t have to worry anymore?! By tomorrow?! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!
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I just wanna grab him and shake him, scream right into his lenses, “YES!! YES!! THAT IS ABSOLUTELY A GOOD WORLD TO WANT BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY WAY WE ALL GET OUT OF THIS MESS!!” So, yep, I quit comedy now. The world is an Onion article and I can’t top that.
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