Andrew McAfee

But we can still file for the write-in deadlines iiiiin...oh, wellp, there goes Indiana...and Colorado... It’s okay, Kanye, you’re such a genius—you’re the voice of a generation! I’m sure you have a plan for victory that doesn’t involve those 20 electoral votes.

But two of the states we missed deadlines for don’t allow write-in candidates at all, so we are totally shut out in South Carolina and New Mexico, where we are currently polling aaaaat... ...Janice, is this right? Zero? We’re at zero?

Don’t worry, Kanye, I’ll have Janice run those numbers again. So, are we going to be repurposing the petition staff from Oklahoma to get you on the ballot anywhere else? ...what’s that, Janice? We just paid the $35k to get on the ballot and we don’t HAVE a petition staff?

Kanye, you DO know we can’t just buy our way onto the ballot in the other...y’know...forty-nine states, right? I’m just checking. I’m your campaign manager. It’s my job. Janice, get me the polling for Oklahoma. Now that we’re on the ballot, we have to, y’know...actually win.