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Fear is kind of a big deal in my house. My wife’s anxiety ensures she’s always got something to be scared of. But I’m really thinking about what I’m actually scared of. I don’t know if I am scared of anything? If a situation changes, I like to think I adapt pretty well...
...or if something dangerous comes along, I try to understand the way it thinks or behaves. I recognize that things are quite often out of my control, and I don’t need to be 100% certain of everything before acting. So what is it? What am I scared of?
Maybe disappointing people? Hard to be scared of a service I render so regularly. Rejection? Yeah. Maybe a bit of that. Fuck if I ain’t signed up for the wrong line of work with showbiz, though. I don’t know—my daily realm of normalcy just doesn’t involve me being scared much?
Is that normal? Or just a lack of imagination or something—to not ruminate on what scary things can happen to me in the course of an average day? Well, it’s probably a good sign that I really do have it good in terms of living conditions. Should probably be grateful for that.
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