Client: I need a website for £X
Me: I can do website for £X
Client: Please proceed with website for £X
Me: I have built website for £X. Please pay
Client: I will not be paying for website until I'm position 1 in Google for the keyword that essentially competes with Amazon
Me: 🫠
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Schrödinger's Cat
@Techpaste
Digital Marketing & IT Consultant. Owner of 3M Digital UK & No Strings Society. Tech nerd. Political Ronin. I'll bench press your nan.
Oxford, EnglandJoined October 2010
Schrödinger's Cat’s Tweets
Day 1 of ironically shouting "FREE ANDREW TATE" until my wife files for divorce.
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Kevin Bacon must be livid that this tool bag shares his first name, and is his doppelganger.
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If you think the AR in “AR-15” stands for assault rifle, you can’t comment about guns.
Apparently the MD found it in a building they were taking down, and he thought he'd stab at my irrational fear of paintings. The frame is stunning. The contents of the frame can fuck off.
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I have a painting behind my desk from 1930. It's 6ft tall and 3ft wide. It's fucking horrifying.
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After being kicked from a Welsh guild on World of Warcraft for being English, I sincerely hope Wales lose tonight.
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Absolutely.
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i think all men sincerely believe they could safely land a commercial airliner in an emergency situation with only air traffic control to walk them through it
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I don't think she knows what was done to criminals at the top of these pyramids... She's lucky it's already raining.
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A disrespectful tourist climbs an ancient Mayan pyramid in Mexico and gets booed
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War zone proximity chat is so fucking toxic and I love every second of it.
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Just laughed at one of Elon's tweets and I've never hated myself as much as I do right now.
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PIKACHU!
"It's CLEFAIRY"
FUUUUUUCK!
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Great, everything I've killed is going to respawn
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On Tuesday, the Earth, sun and moon will align to create a Blood Moon eclipse. It will be the last total lunar eclipse until 2025. Mark your calendars.
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UwU Mr MusKy, c-c-could you pwease pay me some attention 👉 👈.
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Can we get a fact check on this? @elonmusk twitter.com/DailyCaller/st…
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French streamer has done something actually insane. Fulfilling his childhood dream of making a real 3D Yu-Gi-Oh battle possible
It took him 7 months to complete and it's incredible
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Watching the gammon absolutely lose their minds at the thought of Corbyn not being the anti-semite they believe him to be is simply delicious
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Wishing Jewish communities here in Islington and everywhere a blessed, reflective and peaceful Yom Kippur.
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Go Jim
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Do you sit at a computer for longer than 6 hours a day?
You’re destroying your body if so.
Here’s the setup you need to protect yourself from posture problems and crippling long-term injuries:
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Serrated blade > everything else
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Wealth/Luxury is subjective. Someone on £200k PA thinks £100k PA is pittance. Someone on £25k PA thinks £50k PA is a wealthy. On a scale of "comfortable" to "let's gentrify this area", where do you sit on the pay spectrum?
twitter.com/linmeitalks/st
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Get fucked
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If a colleague asks you to do something but you haven’t got capacity, how do you say no, professionally? 
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Free Month of Xbox PC Game Pass if anyone wants it D3VMW-WTJ67-C7HDM-Y44T6-F32CZ
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This is the best Breaking Bad meme I’ve ever seen, they’re in Mario Kart 🤣
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*cries in watercooled, overclocked 5950x*
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Electricity: A desktop PC and monitor, running at 300 watts for eight hours, will cost £1.25 a day at the new rate of 52p per kilowatt hour. Lighting uses less power, but it still adds up; even boiling a kettle will cost more than 10p.Show this thread
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Called it
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Royal Mail will strike soon. Their staff are treated like dirt. Calling it.
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Paying off a mortgage is not the dream. Owning a house and enjoying 100% appreciation every 10 years is. You can leverage assets against your property to snowball your wealth. A 50 year mortgage gives you a greater chance of retiring with >something<
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The New Statesman is not usually in the business of giving financial advice, but following the announcement that a new lender has been awarded a licence to bring 50-year mortgages to the UK market, I will make an exception and tell you this: do not apply for a 50-year mortgage.Show this thread
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how it started how it's going
The Bank of England can eat a colossal bag of dicks
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How do we get out of a recession? Increase consumer spending. How do we increase consumer spending? Stop energy/fuel companies butt fucking us into the ground. Solved.
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BOE: UK PROJECTED TO ENTER RECESSION IN Q4 2022, RECESSION TO LAST 5 QUARTERS, GDP TO FALL 2.1%
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Oil Prices:
Today - $94 per barrel.
August 2014 - $94 per barrel
Fuel Prices:
Today - £1.82 per litre (unleaded)
August 2014 - £1.28 per litre (unleaded)
Peeps, I think it's time we sharpened the pitch forks.
