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Yo! I’m a trial lawyer. I will dick around spouting smart assed one liners rather than conducting zealous advocacy upfront, have my defense sunk halfway through trial, only to have an epiphany, and get others to do last minute investigation for me so I can save the day.https://twitter.com/twillardauthor/status/1081325978188541952 …
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Here's the Game Informer guy who thinks it's "good" that The Last Night is having legal/financial issues. He called allegations that Ellie's a dude "baseless". Oops!pic.twitter.com/Xfc93ukPEQ
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Forget Me Nots by Patrice Rushen sounds EXACTLY like "Men in Black" by Will Smith. That's fucking weird.
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OK, it's time for me to get off Twitter. Tomorrow the goal is 5K words!
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All of them were effective for decades/centuries until something changed to affect the balance, be it a new player, new tactics, or the failure to maintain the wall. Try reading the material you use as examples.https://twitter.com/daveweigel/status/1080958235610398720 …
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Did 5000 words today. Now I'm going to fuck off and watch TV.
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Let’s get to 500 followers, shall we? When we hit the goal, we’ll give away a dice set and a character journal to someone who RTs this. How’s that sound? Free
#dnd stuff! Yay!pic.twitter.com/rxtKlxPEc3
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So on your first day you attempted to sabotage POTUS in a naked power grab, enslave the Midwest and rural areas, and try to seem cool by addressing pot? I hope you choke on a cock.https://twitter.com/RepCohen/status/1081190192046882816 …
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Government is shut down. Post weeb shit.pic.twitter.com/HBzxphgM3w
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Yeah, starving to death is great.https://twitter.com/bjmcdon3/status/1081275957556715520 …
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I just read Fox in Socks to my grand-daughter. The side of my tongue hurts.
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Hello. I'm a futuristic military systems designer. Despite having access to high end energy storage systems, advance macroplast, superconductors, and future-tech, I'll design armor and weapons that look like a raver puked on a 20th century video game. PS: None of it will work.https://twitter.com/TWillardAuthor/status/1081350555916779520 …
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Hi. I work for the CIA. I'd tell you more, but I've already betrayed you. I'll now claim your death means the CIA needs more power and a bigger budget. No, I'm not the bad guy, you were. Sure, I run drugs and guns, but I'm the good guy here. Why did you hate America?https://twitter.com/TWillardAuthor/status/1081349536486998016 …
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Well hello there, pardner! I'm a Texan, & by golly I'll be sure to remind you of the fact I'm Texan every Texas minute to the point where you'll figure my Texas brain has an IQ of about 25. I'm so much of a Texan cliche that Sam Houston is rolling in his Texas grave PS I'm Texanhttps://twitter.com/TWillardAuthor/status/1081345198024806400 …
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Hi! I'm a completely untrained civilian! I will pick up a pistol and be able to kill an entire platoon of heavily armed and armored special forces soldiers who have spent years or decades pumping iron and training to kill the enemy! PS: I will strip to my underwear to do it.https://twitter.com/TWillardAuthor/status/1081343563579969538 …
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Well howdy there! I'm a police officer in a rural area that a serial killer has been stalking for 40 years and 100 bodies. When you call me on the phone I will accuse you of pranking me. When I show up, I will have my head caved in with a rock. PS: I'm probably inbred.https://twitter.com/TWillardAuthor/status/1081342744776376321 …
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Ten-hut! I am a six star general in charge of the entire US military. I constantly wear a dress uniform and shout at everyone. Despite technology being America's greatest edge, I will ignore all scientists & experts to act like a drooling idiot. The scientist will save everyone.https://twitter.com/TWillardAuthor/status/1081341769126739968 …
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Hello! I am a PMC operator! I dress like a hobo and have the military discipline of a crack-whore in a pharmacy. I shoot at everything that moves and belittle everyone. I usually smoke cigars. Nobody is surprised when I turn out to the be the bad guy. PS: I'm probably a racist.https://twitter.com/alimhaider/status/1081341372811169793 …
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