Kinda mind boggling that the advice im getting when im extremely suicidal is actually on the level of "no pricent dont kill urself ur fox is so sexy ahah"
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I was in a very similar spot to you back in HS, where melee was all I hadn't completely fucked up. It sucks when you feel like the one thing you're not shit at isn't really "meaningful", or socially important or w/e. Took many years until it got better for me but it did. -
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and the part that sucks even more is that depression is both misunderstood (even by those who've had it like me it can be fucking hard) and it also fucks up your brain to the point where you can't see things for what they really are. but shit will get better. even if today sucks
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and even if people misunderstand and say stupid shit, you just gotta take what you can from it - that you are that good at a video game that fucking hard and that people value it, even if its a shallow appreciation of video games, is still something. you matter to them and to me!
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