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Thinking back on it, this has probably been my been the roughest week of my life and I'm so fucking happy its over. I was extremely stressed during Summit campaigning, and then went straight into cramming for Big House while being really scared and depressed about my hands -
My mind went to some really fucking dark places because of everything. I had several nightmares every night and was exhausted constantly despite sleeping enough. To then have to deal with random shit like forgetting my tsm jersey and bad scheduling was incredibly fucking hard.
To be clear, my hands have consistently gotten better after starting to take care of them, until being forced to play in a freezing venue for 11 hours straight. It's just that along with burnout and my entire life kinda depending on them it was hard not to be really depressed.
Honestly I shouldn't have gone to Big house considering everything but I did and I got through it. Feeling a bit better now, so I thought I'd be open about how I felt. I know people will see this as just johns but I really don't mean it to be. Showing emotion is not a weakness.
Safe to say that I'm going to make some serious life changes because I can not take another week like this. Anyway GZ mango LOL
The stress is real, how can you work in such a different stuff + streaming? 
I can't. Its literally killing me
But Hbox didn't win so can't be too bad
yo for real, maybe u should take a break for a lil bit.take care of yourself, get ur hands looked at and see if theres anything u can get done to help for the long run. dont ruin ur hands for life. take a breather big leff, we will still be here when u come back, you da best <3
At least it's over now, go and enjoy Japan. Get a good rest man!
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