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Gotta stop burning myself out. I just start fucking hating everything, even if I win its not even fun at this point. going to try to relax with some actual food (fuck you venue) and sleep this shit off. If I feel better tomorrow I might play the rest of melee for practice.
I thought I could pull of a 13 hr day because I often play 12 hr at home to keep up with melee + ult + streaming in but thats exactly why I can't handle tournaments this bad. I need go to less events yes, but I need to stop streaming before shit events and stop trying to fix shit
Trying to fix rulesets, schedules and shit like that really isn't worth it when it doesnt give anything back. My contribution to the scene is going to be only my gameplay and stream if I gotta play two games. I'm just stubborn I guess.
I take it way too personally when events and shit fucks me over because I keep trying to push the scene forward. I always have and its a major flaw performance wise. I just gotta accept that everything is going to be shit and make the best of it, not try to improve it.
Just gotta say fuck everyone and do myself for a bit. Maybe eventually I'll have time to do other shit but fuck man I need a break
Take some time for yourself, to relax and enjoy the other things in life. You shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself. Just my opinion.
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