Business Bullshit

@StopBusinessBS

*Going forward* to lands of *deliverables*, stopping off on the *journey* to *drill down* into *best practice*. {📘 by , 🐦 by }

London
routledge.com/Business-Bulls…
Vrijeme pridruživanja: rujan 2017.
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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    18. lis 2017.

    What to call your meeting (inspired by )

    42 proslijeđena tweeta 80 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  2. 2. velj

    Need a more hopey, changey corporate culture? Announce Mickey Mouse! The Disneyfication of a University (HT )

    1 reply 1 proslijeđeni tweet 4 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Me before a business meeting

    6 replies 64 proslijeđena tweeta 246 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  4. 1. velj

    "like most management books, once you trim down the strained analogies and the tail-chasing, a summary runs to about five bullet points ... Most of it is common sense." Latest Private Eye on "High Output Management"

    3 proslijeđena tweeta 12 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  5. 31. sij

    "kind regards" - such is my regard for you, I've embedded this vacuous sentiment in my email signature, in a different font, rather than take the trouble to actually write it, or accept my email provider's automated suggestion that I hold you - you! - in any regard whatsoever

    2 proslijeđena tweeta 1 korisnik označava da mu se sviđa
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  6. 31. sij

    "kind regards" - truly, I regard you kindly "kind regards" - I regard you in kind with the general tenor of this exchange "kind regards" - I have the kind of regard for you your last hotel room cleaner does "kind regards" - kindly regard yourself, never again darken my inbox...

    “No worries!!!” - truly, no worries. “Ok, no worries!!”- I am slightly inconvenienced but nbd. “No worries” - I want you to know I’m pissed. “No worries.” - Apologize, now. “Oh, ok, no worries.”- we are never speaking again.
    1 reply 2 proslijeđena tweeta 3 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    Today’s mini ‘found poem’ taken from my spam emails: (Say slowly, hammering the syllables) “Ideas that disrupt convention, such as blockchain, cryptocurrencies and... activist groups.”

    1 proslijeđeni tweet 13 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  8. 30. sij

    In other words, it's - moving right, talking left

    The v tight spending round is going to show that it’s actually very difficult to”move right on culture and left on economics”, because “moving right on culture” is is a spending commitment with implications for your ability to “move left on economics”.
    2 proslijeđena tweeta 2 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    i've recently become obsessed with all the insane corporate ways we say normal things to each other. "I’m a little confused" is by far my favorite - it's absolute rage masked as a professional pleasantry. what are some of your best/most insufferable work gibberish phrases?

    8.565 replies 14.581 proslijeđeni tweet 97.408 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  10. 29. sij

    My wife and I never baby talk to our kids. We use business jargon and a wide vocabulary including meaningless terms. My son is 3 and can carry a full town hall. Adults at meetings are shocked at his accountability avoidance. My daughter isn't even 2 and uses 4-syllable takeaways

    My wife and I never baby talk to our kids. We use full sentences and a wide vocabulary including complex words. My son is 3 and can carry a full conversation. Adults at family gatherings are shocked at his social aptitude. My daughter isn’t even 2 and she uses 4-syllable words.
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    2 proslijeđena tweeta 10 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  11. 26. sij

    Reference, that "how I want to learn your thing" tweet from years back which nicely punctured pivot to video before it was deleted. Here's a retread, icymi

    "How I want to learn [your thing] : 1. Text on website 2. Text on paper … 2428. Spraypainted on side of cow 2429. Video tutorials"
    1 korisnik označava da mu se sviđa
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  12. 26. sij

    Indeed, it's also still a preferable mode of communication than video (see the BBC reboot of Worzel Gummidge if you've not already done so)

    This is still making me laugh.
    2 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. sij

    Me [crying]: you can’t just call everything bad a ‘market failure’ Economist [points to burning Australia]: “market failure"

    10 replies 95 proslijeđenih tweetova 455 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  14. 24. sij

    Ditto, all remaining corporate managers will have "director" or "Director" in their job title

    Prediction: By 2030 every academic will have "Dean" in their job title. I'm aiming for Associate Dean for Departmental Seminars, but a good teaching reduction could sway me to Junior Assistant Associate Dean for Remarks. Actual Deans will need a new title. Suggestions?
    1 reply 1 korisnik označava da mu se sviđa
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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    23. sij

    Believing that the study of economics is a prerequisite for understanding the climate crisis is like believing the study of medieval medicine is a prerequisite for understanding the modern treatment of disease.

    Just hearing from Treasury Secretary and Commerce Secretary here at Davos: TS says re Huawei, he will talk with chancellor in London this week. re climate: Greta should go and study economics in college... and on trade...
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    1 reply 25 proslijeđenih tweetova 98 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    22. sij

    So, the university of Sunderland has decided to be 'professions-facing'. I know it's not the most important question, but WTF does the 'facing' part of this compound mean? Could public institutions' public communications maybe be a bit less bollocks-facing?

    10 replies 22 proslijeđena tweeta 149 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij

    One question to ask university managements is why, if casualised employment is good for cleaners, teachers and administrators and the institution that hires them, it isn’t good for managers too.

    This damning report should be compulsory reading for all university leaders, HR staff & anyone on a permanent contract. Casualised labour is used as a business model by universities and insecurity and overwork are a feature, not a bug, of that model
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    6 replies 61 proslijeđeni tweet 144 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij

    More people noticing is not A Thing. But there are many Things that on closer inspection don't really seem to be A Thing. Here's a few more. What's your favourite Thing-that-isn't-A-Thing? Organizational culture Employee engagement Personality types Learning styles

    48 replies 22 proslijeđena tweeta 128 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij

    "Blue Monday" is a bogus "equation", created to market Sky Travel holidays. The evidence shows low mood doesn't vary with season. Using pseudoscience to "just start a conversation" is not helpful. Mental health discussions should be built on honesty.

    592 proslijeđena tweeta 1.451 korisnik označava da mu se sviđa
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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij

    me, when a man tries to micromanage me at work

    2 proslijeđena tweeta 30 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij

    "Under consideration" means "we've lost the file"; "under active consideration" means "we're trying to find it". -- Bernard, Yes Minister RIP Derek Fowlds

    25 replies 476 proslijeđenih tweetova 1.261 korisnik označava da mu se sviđa
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