Steve MartinVerified account

@SteveMartinToGo

My new comedy play, Meteor Shower, has opened at the Old Globe in San Diego.

On a plane, probably.
stevemartin.com
Joined May 2008
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  1. 13 hours ago

    The house I grew up in-now in the middle of the San Diego freeway-was five minutes from there.

    68 retweets 1,069 likes
  2. Aug 23

    I consider this an omen.

    1,244 retweets 5,713 likes
  3. Aug 22

    Don't forget to use E flat!

    At which measure do I pick up the butter knife?
    34 retweets 229 likes
  4. Aug 17

    If you say "Good morning" to you Amazon Echo today, you'll hear an uncanny imitation of Robert De Niro.

    113 retweets 841 likes
  5. Aug 17

    Recently posted footage of yours truly (among others) working at Disneyland when I was eleven. Thanks, Daveland!

    162 retweets 1,087 likes
  6. Aug 16

    Same could be said for fire.

    what's this obsession with the mouse? if the mouse never existed, what would you be whining about?
    37 retweets 428 likes
  7. Aug 16

    I'm not really counting on April, 2017.

    Still mulling over your mouse problem, Steve. Found this: Ships April '17. No idea if it's any good
    15 retweets 194 likes
  8. Aug 16

    IBM Selectric never had a mouse, either.

    I believe your best bet at this point is Ye Ole trusty IBM Selectric. Things shouldn't be this complicated in life
    21 retweets 247 likes
  9. Aug 16

    Dear Greg Kauffman, I hope you suffer the way I am suffering (there is no Bluetooth mouse for iPad).

    Were you pointed to a proper Bluetooth mouse?
    27 retweets 321 likes
  10. Aug 16

    Jeff Bezos just landed on my lawn via drone with contract in hand for "Steve Martin's Getting Irritated" mouse product.

    126 retweets 1,278 likes
  11. Aug 16

    With my handy mouse!

    ...How did you put the cap locks on?
    17 retweets 194 likes
  12. Aug 16

    Oh, let me think. Precision and speed? And please, don't give me the finger.

    What do you want from a mouse that your finger can't give you?
    34 retweets 430 likes
  13. Aug 16

    I am just not that type.

    I think you would have to jailbreak your iPad for a mouse to work
    24 retweets 257 likes
  14. Aug 16

    "Steve Martin is getting irritated" is the mantra for the new century.

    Steve is getting irritated.
    60 retweets 570 likes
  15. Aug 16

    That is called a keyboard. We are talking about a mouse.

    This one works great with my iPad
    39 retweets 446 likes
  16. Aug 16

    Pictures, please.

    I have a Bluetooth mouse for my iPad Pro
    9 retweets 133 likes
  17. Aug 16

    NOT FOR IPAD OR IPHONE. Oops, my caps lock was on.

    you can buy Bluetooth keyboard and a mouse for your apple products
    23 retweets 284 likes
  18. Aug 16

    I'm well aware. But the you have to use the onscreen keyboard. Not great for typing long, provocative, fab, essays.

    do you know that when you use the keyboard you can touch with two fingers and it turns the keys into a mouse?
    31 retweets 418 likes
  19. Aug 16

    Dear Satan, thank you for not letting the iPad work with a mouse. Otherwise, it would be a perfect, portable, all-purpose computer.

    601 retweets 2,887 likes
  20. Aug 15

    Five Amigos! Backstage after stevemartintogo and Martin Short Show.

    39 retweets 385 likes

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