if you are a racer, you might spend way more time working on your car than driving it.
I’ve never liked the idea that “relationships are work.“ Work is work - relationships are for play. Analogy: If you’re spending more time working on your car then actually driving it, you need to get a new car. What do you think?
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Well that would be a race car now, wouldn’t it
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Same for specially build off-road vehicle. People spend a lot of time working on them.
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Almost ANY car that people have for recreation, they spend more time working on it that driving it. Rock crawler, mud bogger, boulevard cruiser, track day, drift car....all spend more hours in the shop / on the hoist than they do in their element
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Agree, this is a circumstance where the car analogy falls flat, at least w/o qualifications. Better: "If you’re spending more time working on your [daily driver] then actually driving it, you need to get a [different] car. Unless you're wrenching for fun, not for repairs."
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You still have to be able to maintain a driver's license, insurance, and registration. Which for majority, you have to work to be able to maintain some of these things. Also when driving you have to follow and obey the laws. It takes work.
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Uuuh...you're getting into the weeds a bit with the analogy there. A relationship requires contribution from both parties to succeed, but shouldn't require excessive attention and energy to not fall apart...if so, it's time to move on, and get into a different one. Ditto w/ cars.
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He says relationships should be fun. You, "relationships require contribution from both parties". Contributing constitutes work. No matter how you slice it, you can't have fun in a relationship without putting in work to maintain the fun. Same with a car.
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I think some of the most rewarding experiences come after we actually have to work at it. Usually work implies some form of personal growth and overcoming barriers. I love the gym because it rewards you for genuine work. I think most things in life are like this.
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Now I will say that a successful relationship requires BOTH people to work at it. The other person cannot make up for the work the other is responsible for
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Sticking with you car analogy if you get a car and never work on it, not if but when, it will fail. The idea is (another old saying) you need to find a "low maintenance" car
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No. My relationship, which is a great one, is only great because we worked at it. This includes a lot of self work as well.
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Well, there’s “work” and then there’s “WORK”.
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They shouldn’t take constant work, but if you ignore ever working on your car it will break down. Same for relationships.
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Cars and relationships both benefit from regular, intermittent maintenance. Catastrophic failure means outside influence, or an origination fault (doomed from the start). Constant minor attention means something needs proper repair, and/or a complete failure is in your future.
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Married for 40 years. Took my Uncle’s advice: “Marry someone who is NICE”
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Marriage has highs and lows. You have to ride out the lows or your going through relationships every 2-3 years, looking for that newness.
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You have to get oil changes on your car. It’s work but allows you to go on great road trips and see beautiful things and enjoy your ride. Relationships aren’t work but they require maintaince. Or you can be a douche and trade it in for a new version every time.
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My girl serving TRUTH OUT HERE
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You know IT
Miss you woman
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