Holy shit. There's a whole Twitter inquisition going right now against autists who use the word '#aspie' to refer to themselves. Because rigorous monitoring of our language is absolutely the most important thing we need. Extraordinary.
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I think the key distinction is being able to read people's emotional states and not caring/enjoying their suffering vs. caring but being unable to read them.
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Getting an emotional charge out of bullying/dominating others seems like something autists will have difficulty with, because they'll have difficulty noticing when it happens (and they aren't, generally, sadistic).
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. Banned in Sweden. SubGenius, Zhuangist, white-hat troll. Defrocked mathematician. Brain problems.