I believe a small part of the problem here is that some men identify with other men in general, whether the man doing the identifying is an abuser or not.https://twitter.com/bransonreese/status/921606197605740549 …
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Sure. But there could be other things going on, like they lost control or are venting. I of course can't always let it go. I'd eventually try to stop it with "I'm not the person who did this" or "I'm trying to help."
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Hopefully I also get the option to leave at some point.
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I'm usually able to suck up a small amount of wrongly directed abuse and anger if it helps break the chain, or frankly, if it just gets me through the day better or faster.
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But of course, I can only put up with some not-well-defined amount of shit before I either must escape, vent, lose it myself, &c.
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Identifying someone else's issue is the key, of course, and what led me to realize that treating everyone the same, while a nice idea in some sense, doesn't really work.
End of conversation
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. Banned in Sweden. SubGenius, Zhuangist, white-hat troll. Defrocked mathematician. Brain problems.