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Another report, fresh from the Squid Research Lab Fashion Desk! (OK, it's my regular desk with a funny hat on it.) We're testing the new Airflow & Hustle Jacket from Forge with built-in ventilation! Perfect for heated battles in the Splatlands and staying cool at all times.pic.twitter.com/9nyrxIQeJQ

Squid Research Lab here with what we believe is called a "shower thought." While contemplating our own bristles, we realized that Octarians now seem to be sporting magnificent manes of hair. But don't let those good locks fool you—warm ‘n’ fuzzy Octotroopers are still deadly!pic.twitter.com/2jIIgtQUAf

Imagine bouncing an Angle Shooter off the walls of a narrow corridor, pinning down a rival. If they touch the line, they take damage...so while they hesitate, you pounce with your heavy main weapon and ink 'em up good! Take that, Gary! I mean...if your rival's name is Gary.pic.twitter.com/ZKqHGAUXbZ

Squid Research Lab coming to you directly with a report about a new sub weapon that's as direct as they come. The Angle Shooter launches a perfectly straight line far into the distance and will reflect off any surfaces it encounters. It's more exciting than it sounds—trust us!pic.twitter.com/15j7jZSfeA

Squid Research Lab checking in with a quick sustainability update. It seems the popular brand Tentatek has updated many of its classic designs with more recyclable and planet-friendly materials. And all this without making a dent in its fresh factor!pic.twitter.com/lWTZFZJzI3

Finally, we have the E-liter 4k. This is the granddaddy of the chargers—a weapon with massive range that takes a long time to charge and consumes tremendous amounts of ink. It's not for everyone, but in the right hands, it can be devastating.pic.twitter.com/Hhg6KKJ50Y

Next up is the Classic Squiffer. It's a lightweight charger that charges so quickly we hesitate to even call it a charger! (But to be technically correct, we will continue to do so.) It doesn't have great range, but rewards a dynamic play style with plenty of stop-and-pop action.pic.twitter.com/QfqYfGPvQM

This is the Splat Charger, a balanced weapon with good range and medium charge time. Our game-theory experts say that if you can attain the high ground with one of these, you're "going to go all splat-a-tat-tat on the other team." Is game theory science? We're no longer sure.pic.twitter.com/tGvalhPBBA

Squid Research Lab back with a report on "charger" weapons. We've been saving this one for a while and building up power. And that's exactly how these weapons work! Press and hold ZR patiently for a powerful shot that can hit faraway targets. Let's see some examples.pic.twitter.com/akTC6TnzbE

Speaking of showing off your style, we've uncovered a new clothing brand called Barazushi, known for high-quality performance gear...like this hoodie made of ultra-fine sponges. We're conducting durability tests now and wringing out all the data we can!pic.twitter.com/K1McDgLqoM

For example, you can register a so-called title that reflects your personality. The more Turf War battles you wage, the more words you'll unlock. We're consulting with our staff mathematician, but we estimate there are a "gazillion" possibilities, scientifically speaking.pic.twitter.com/4C10p1qCcY

Squid Research Lab here with another monumental discovery! It seems that inhabitants of the Splatlands utilize these colorful banners to show off their style. And not just in battles! They're visible in a variety of settings and fully customizable based on gameplay.pic.twitter.com/nFzq2xDGzq

That's it for now, but rest assured that there are many more shooters for you to test and research yourself. In fact, we've been able to confirm that all the basic weapons from previous games will be available in Splatoon 3! Our research continues—look for more reports soon!pic.twitter.com/EcooUNiSZt

Snack acquired! Onward with science! This beauty is the .96 Gal—a high-impact, long-range weapon that packs a major punch. The ink tank has been modified to Splatlands specifications, and the barrel is sourced from a water-purification device. Talk about a clean shot!pic.twitter.com/0TuFVebLXa

Next is the Splattershot Jr. Far from a child's toy, this shooter rations ink like my grandparents ration stale candies! In other words, it may not be the strongest or most accurate weapon, but you can mash that ZR like you're mashing potatoes. Huh. I must be hungry.pic.twitter.com/U68wsWJ8Mq

First up is the tried-and-true Splattershot. Although some see this as an entry-level shooter, you'll often find advanced players taking advantage of its capabilities. And the latest Splatsville iteration features a new frame that offers added resiliency and ease of maintenance.pic.twitter.com/CBk3Nc6jQ5

Squid Research Lab here again with a special report on "shooter" weapons. On the surface, shooters are pretty straightforward. You press ZR—you shoot! But the range of functions and features these weapons possess is quite impressive indeed! Let's take a deep dive.pic.twitter.com/Qrv9ZlYqaq

Boom! We didn't want you to wait too long. Observe how a user can group ink strikes closely…or space them out strategically. Truly, this is a weapon that rewards the flexible and calculating user. Apologies for our earlier "boom"—we do get excited here at the Squid Research Lab.pic.twitter.com/nmuLgeiJaD

Are you as fascinated as we are by new weapon types? Squid Research Lab here with another exclusive finding. Behold the Triple Inkstrike, a modified version of a weapon originally discovered in Inkopolis. If you think it looks impressive here, wait until you see it in action...pic.twitter.com/xgOKftKLVO