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  1. Retweeted
    Jan 14

    Someone in a Facebook group I'm in made a post about but she didn't notice it autocorrected his name to Elfin Mush so he is henceforth known as Elfin Mush.

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  2. Retweeted
    8 Oct 2019

    casual sex implies the existence of ranked competitive sex

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  3. Retweeted
    6 Oct 2019

    I just remembered an undercover cop posed as a teen at my high school and busted a “drug ring”. We sat next to a 30 something year old man and believed he was a kid enough to sell him weed.

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  4. Retweeted
    31 Mar 2019

    That’s a wooden stirring stick I tried to drink my coffee through...

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  5. 17 Jan 2019

    Do you ever wash your hands and get the urge to climb in the sink to take a bath?

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  6. Retweeted

    The San Diego County Sheriff's Department is scheduled to give an update at 1 p.m. on its review of the investigation into the 2011 death of Rebecca Zahau at Spreckels Mansion.

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  7. Retweeted
    6 Dec 2018

    My astrology app told me to “try not to say anything petty for 24 hours” and let me just say... that’s a tall order. Do I just sleep for a whole 24 hours? Or how do I do this?

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  8. 10 Nov 2018

    Literally just try to remember which order you be the... goddamn it, I’ve done it again

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  9. Retweeted
    9 Nov 2018

    {\__/} ( • . •) / >📚 i’ll add these to my tbr pile {\__/} ( • - •) />📚oh no 📚📚 📚📚📚 📚📚📚📚 📚📚📚📚📚 📚📚📚📚📚📚 📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

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  10. Retweeted

    ME CALLING ROOM SERVICE: Yeah can you describe the mac and cheese to me like is it fancy and weird with twigs and shit in it or is it the classic solid rectangle that harkens one back to a rainy day in junior high hello are you there

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  11. Retweeted

    5 sips into every La Croix I remember that they taste like someone else’s Skittles burp and I bail

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  12. Retweeted
    19 Aug 2018

    HELP ME PLEASE. COORS FIELD NEEDS AN ORGANIST

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  13. Retweeted
    16 Aug 2018

    So y’all use his mugshot for defending his daughter but y’all use a family portrait for the white man who admitted to murdering his wife and two daughters??? 🤦🏽‍♂️

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  14. Retweeted
    Replying to

    Not now, we’re busy

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  15. Retweeted
    11 Aug 2018

    I've compiled all the clips of Rich speaking to ground control from last night, in order. It isn't a complete picture, because much of what was said has been lost. But hopefully it's a useful picture of the sequence of events.

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  16. 12 Aug 2018
    This Tweet is unavailable.
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  17. Retweeted
    6 Aug 2018

    *sound of a potato rotating*

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  18. Retweeted

    Al-fucking-Jackson for the fucking win. Hell yeah. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

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