2 months today my #PlayStation tour kicks off! Birmingham! Salford! Bristol! Crawley! Brighton! London! Glasgow! Edinburgh! Newcastle! Maidenhead! Leeds!
ALL TICKETS: soozkempner.co.uk/copy-of-playst
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Sooz Kempner🐀’s Tweets
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If you missed #PlayStation in Edinburgh last year you can catch the 2023 edition in London's glittering West End at @lsqtheatre on May 25th.
TICKETS: leicestersquaretheatre.com/sooz-kempner-p
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If you missed #PlayStation in Edinburgh last year you can catch the 2023 edition in London's glittering West End at on May 25th.
TICKETS: leicestersquaretheatre.com/sooz-kempner-p
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not saying it’s hard to make friends in your thirties but a crow fully ignored me when I threw a biscuit & shouted “Goth solidarity!” today 😐
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Imagine if Jimmery Croopins etc etc
This stinks.
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BOLTON NORTH EAST: entire local selection committee has resigned.Show this thread
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Extremely dismaying to see how fast the 15-minute city conspiracy theory is growing, and overlapping with other "New World Order" type conspiracies
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First tentative airing in parliament today of the 15 minute city conspiracy theory. Quotes from Hansard.
h/t @carltonreid
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Thank you for enjoying this exclusive footage of Nadine selflessly quitting as an MP. You can tip me here to encourage more of this behaviour:
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1/ Lee Anderson is being criticised for his friendship w/ a white supremacist, but Fluke 👇🏻 is not the only far right element in Skegby S.C. A short 🧵
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I know you’re Anti trans and you’re reminding me of my impending death from my terminal cancer but I wonder if JK would be surprised you would send me this? And for the record it’s “you’re meeting your maker soon” I wish you a good day and look after yourself 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
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Replying to @JaneyGodley
Your meeting your maker soon. Don’t forget
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Staying up late listening to Burt Bacharach! Absolutely adore this mashup of One Less Bell to Answer and A House Is Not a Home that Barbra Streisand performs as a duet with...well...Barbra Streisand.
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"Hi, I'm Donald Trump, the guy who admitted he would bang his daughter if we weren't related lol RON IS AN GROOMER BTW"
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I cannot abide Ron DeSantis in any way but Trump calling him a groomer when Trump hung out with Jeffrey Epstein and [etc etc etc] is pretty bananas.
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When Suki and Eve finally confess their love for each other in #EastEnders and everyone finds out I will run around doing the Home Alone face in elation.
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They ousted Johnson BECAUSE he was tanking in the polls. It wasn't ousting him that caused the Tory plummet. That was underway. And has continued.
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This is how you accept a Best Actor gong (for “Chinatown”) - with a skit via satellite on the set of your next Movie (“One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”) which will have you win the Best Actor Oscar the following year.
DAVID NIVEN & JACK NICHOLSON in 1975.
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Firstly- this is a photo from my cover shoot for InStyle magazine, not a still from HBO’s The Last Of Us. And I’m playing a person who meticulously planned & executed an overthrow of FEDRA. I am supposed to be SMART, ma’am. I don’t need to be muscly. That’s what henchmen are for
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Pretty certain when Lee Rigby’s family said they didn’t want him used by the Media/Far Right, they also didn’t want him used to campaign for the Death Penalty.
Show the family some respect.
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The Red Wall going blue in 2019 was like when your mum has a fling with her personal trainer but then goes back to your dad and nobody ever speaks about it again.
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It's me. "the piss boiler in chief"*
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Britain's national media is afflicted by privilege and nepotism.
So I spoke to piss boiler in chief, @brokenbottleboy, who has literally mapped out the media's family connections 
youtube.com/watch?v=r54u8a
youtube.com/watch?v=r54u8a
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Episode ideas:
- Basil struggles to make a PDF
- Basil tweets a racial slur
- Manuel’s ghost seeks vengeance against Basil
- Basil meets a new gf and has AMAZING sex
- Basil freaks out over pronouns
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Very sad to learn this news today. If you love Bacharach - here for the first time is the unlocked episode for which I was Jesse’s guest 2021. RIP Burt.
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In honour of the passing of Burt Bacharach, I have unlocked the Premium episode of @JunkFilterPod about one of the most important figures of 20th century popular music and his work with Hal David and Dionne Warwick.
@markerstarling is the guest.
open.spotify.com/episode/1mc3IY
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E80: George Santos
This week we look at fantastical New York congressman George Santos. He's in hot water for lying about his religion, work history, finances and 9/11, but he ALSO ran a fake charity for animals in need. Go George!
From :
thesonarnetwork.com/evil-men/episo
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Lee Anderson is having a great day building his fanbase amongst the Love The Death Penalty Actually Tbh community. This will help him win an election.
It won't though.
He's gonna lose his seat in the next election despite his love of executions.
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Today I made my concept poster including title for my 2023 Edinburgh show. Watch out. I have a venue...
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Yeah coz she’s gonna be a blimmin lord *reaches for wig*
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Even slightly lesser-known classics like Don’t Make Me Over say more about the human condition than most modern albums in their entirety.
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Sometimes I remember this and laugh. Does anything say cis man more than whining about being described as "not trans" because it reminds you trans people exist, then describing it as the worst form of misogyny in a world full of rape, forced birth etc that he'll never experience
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Burt Bacharach wrote the best fucking songs about love and if you disagree I just don’t know what to do with myself.
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Awwwww
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Catch comedian Sooz Kempner in 2023. See her in #Birmingham in April and #Leeds in July.
🎟️fave.co/3YceaQ4
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Twitter you’re cute
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Update: My attempt to build a Twitter ark within Twitter is going well! Control the bullies! Change your settings so only those you follow can reply. Add nice followers as you go. Recommend it for anyone who gets extreme trolling! 🙂❤️🌟
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NO I DIDNT I SAID “do NOT tell my boyfriend”
I have a boyfriend btw
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