I’ve always found myself enjoying things that were typically considered “not masculine” and I’ve always thought of myself as 50% masc and 50% feminine. But I always felt ridiculed and made fun of for liking the more “feminine” things of life.
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This in turn made me almost never go clothes shopping. The mens clothes section just never appealed to me. I felt almost nothing there really matched me. Strangely enough, I always enjoyed the masculine look of my facial hair and stuff, but never the attire!
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I for the last 8 years have only settled on hoodie x jeans combo and that’s it, but when I look at myself in the mirror and visualizing the ideal me, I keep seeing myself with this androgynous appearance. I was too nervous and shy to try women or “feminine” clothing..
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But I feel I am ready to conquer this shyness and start trying out new clothes and stuff that really feels like -me- ya know? I love the monochrome look and have always had a fascination in cardigans shawls long black leather gloves etc. Hell even makeup! (smokey eyes,,,,)
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I’m gonna try on jewelry, Ima try piercings, etc etc, the whole nine yards! I wanna completely overhaul how I generally present myself to the world, and have this new attire that I think feels right. To really express the true -me-. Tldr im finna get some drip


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I’ll be shopping very soon and may end up looking hella different than I usually do at tournaments, so stay tuned for that!! Don’t worry the mustache is staying uwu I get to finally explore and this just feels like a huge sigh of relief
Thank you for your support everyone!
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And in time I could see myself dropping the He/Him pronouns. I cannot tell if I am genderfluid or not, but I feel identifying as a cis-man just isn’t too right. I definitely know I don’t feel like a woman either, but something in between like He They spectrum I feel fits me most.
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Hell even when I called myself gay for simplicity purposes, something always felt off about that as well. I’ll probably still continue to say I’m gay but in true hindsight, I think I am prooooobably pansexual. Not sure yet. Sexuality and Gender is confusin’ sometimes!!
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But with that being said, I hope you all accept me for me regardless of how I appear! That is all I could ever ask for! After my tourney this weekend, I will finally explore my true identity and take extra measures for self-care for like the first time ever!!!!
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