Opens profile photo
Follow
Click to Follow SonarJose
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
burn, twitterwood, burn
Joined March 2009
1,439 Following
1,155 Followers

Sonar Jose’s Tweets

Pinned Tweet
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
*Trump literally strangles a baby on live TV* Rs: Sure, yeah, we do that now Ds: Let's keep an open mind Media: TRUMP/BABY CAUGHT IN DISPUTE
4
271
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
*guy who was supposed to be holding the rope for his team’s entry at the Beijing Hot Air Balloon Festival but had to scratch his nose for a second, scrolling through his phone this week*: “shit.. shit.. fuckfuckfuck nonononononono…”
4
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
everyone should be allowed to plea “I didn’t know” one time for any first offense misdemeanor charge & get off with just a warning.
1
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
There should be a Cameo/OnlyFans type site where you can choose from a roster of pro athletes/celebs to watch live sports games in a Zoom window with. A personally customizable ManningCast, if you will. (©️ SJ Tweets Corp., LLC; licensing rights negotiable) (Cc:
@EliManning
)
1
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
thinking about introducing my kids to the fluffernutter tonight. … big decision though, there’s no putting that genie back in the bottle once it’s out.
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
it’s been over a year now & i have to admit: my sons’ shared commitment to wearing their t-shirts backwards as a style choice has actually become as cool-looking to me as they always knew it was. might have to get me some of those “coool dude 😎” vibes going for daddy as well. 🤟
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
Feels like a real missed opportunity for Skittles to not be jumping all in on the candy culture wars rn. Doesn’t even matter which side - they could either do all trans/BIPOC Skittles or strictly red, white, & blue Skittles & either way get a big bump in online weirdo mob sales.
2
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
For those wondering: the official name of this final play formation, per the Cowboys playbook, is “suicide by cop”.
Quote Tweet
NFL
@NFL
The final play that sends the @49ers to the NFC Championship! #NFLPlayoffs
Embedded video
0:15
3.3M views
4
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
I like to imagine McCarthy called in that last play, tossed off his headphones, cap, & sweatshirt, and began walking down the tunnel towards the nearest exit without ever even turning around to watch it unfold.
2
Sonar Jose
@SonarJose
dads are smiling politely and pretending to want a fifteenth plate of hot pot noodles & unagi rolls at the lunar new year party without complaining about missing the nfl playoffs for the sake of their marriage.
5