Spooky Evan DeSimone 

@Smorgasboredom

Content person, ex media reporter, ennui enthusiast. Previous words at

Brooklyn, NY
Joined January 2011

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  1. Pinned Tweet

    Hey Mom & Dad, When are you coming back from vacation? This babysitter is really weird.

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  2. Oct 18

    Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween: 30 years ago Mike Myers killed several of my friends & has continued to murder others while stalking me. Republicans: Are we really gonna hold him accountable for something he did when he was a teenager???

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  3. The Committee to Protect Journalists says 44 reporters have been killed around the world in 2018. 61 others are missing. In the US, 39 journalists have been attacked this year. Five have been killed. A Washington Post columnist was just murdered in a consulate. "Playful"

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  4. Lol. No. Yell at Mitch McConnell all the time.

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  5. It doesn’t matter what you say because you’ll reverse yourself to obey the President when the time comes.

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  6. Hello from my terrifying Animoji.

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  7. Hello from my terrifying Animoji.

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  8. What were you thinking about at 1 am?

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  9. Rupert Murdoch is about to be Disney’s biggest shareholder so I wouldn’t hold your breath...

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  10. Honestly, why isn’t this the stupid alternate reality we all got stuck in?

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  14. Melissa McCarthy’s portrayal of gifted, lonely, and deeply depressed writer Lee Israel in Can You Ever Forgive Me has restored my faith in the notion that someday a renowned comic actress will play me in a biopic.

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  15. The worlds’ largest list of verified virgins.

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  16. Melissa McCarthy’s portrayal of gifted, lonely, and deeply depressed writer Lee Israel in Can You Ever Forgive Me has restored my faith in the notion that someday a renowned comic actress will play me in a biopic.

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  18. You’re welcome America!

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  19. Having a normal one...

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  20. Good morning to this headline only

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  21. A “secret” weapon that they’ve been talking about for a decade?

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