Geppetto San Martín

@SmalltimeJones

fish eggs ‘n bubble wine

Lincoln, NE
Vrijeme pridruživanja: svibanj 2018.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    Ted Cruz has the beard of a man whose Fleshlight makes him wear a condom.

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  2. The best dog names are people names that sound like they would be terrible dog names. Like Steve or Megan or Dennis

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  3. Golf is just miniature golf for assholes

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  4. 2. velj

    CHILDREN NO! DO NOT FOLLOW THE RAILROAD PUPPET YOU ARE IN GREAT DANGER!

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  5. 2. velj

    All sports analysis should come in the form of a hippopotamus vomiting

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Goofy has died

    Prikaži ovu nit
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  7. 2. velj

    Philly has but San Jose has a horny shark throwing mad rope

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  8. 2. velj

    I'm on this new diet where I eat whatever I want and hate myself because I stopped taking my antidepressants a few months ago

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  9. 2. velj

    Politics is cool because you get to be a huge fucking asshole and then get mad and take it way too personally when someone calls you out for being a huge fucking asshole

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  10. 2. velj

    There is literally no law forbidding you from ordering the chicken n dumplins at Cracker Barrel and then ordering three sides of dumplins. You are free to eat only gray piles of food and the police just have to sit and fuckin watch you do it

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj
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  12. 31. sij

    what i lack in sexual prowess i more than make up for in patchy back hair

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  13. 31. sij

    Can you imagine how different the world would be now if Howard Dean hadn't have been all like "Yeeeeeeeaaaaw!"

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  14. 31. sij

    At this tumultuous time in our nation's history, no matter what our political beliefs may be, I think we can all agree that Mike Pence looks like a potato's grandpa

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  15. 30. sij

    The dog decided to chase after some bluejays that were pecking at the grass a couple weeks ago. They flew away but they remember him. Every few days when they're out there and he's stomping through the yard they'll dive bomb him for fucking with them

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  16. 30. sij

    My fiance is planning the candid, getting-ready shots she wants at the wedding and has denied my request of a photo of me, pants-down on the toilet, eyes wide and frightened, flailing my arms in an attempt to hide my shame from the photographer's camera.

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  17. 30. sij

    If I had a time machine I’d go back one hour and tell myself not to eat my birth weight in taco bell just before going to bed. Im fucking stupid

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  18. 30. sij
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  19. 29. sij

    Just threw a treat for my dog and it landed in the tall laundry basket. He looked at me made the most outraged squeaking noise like I purposely threw his milkbone into a pile of panties and shirts

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  20. 28. sij

    Have decided my mild bronchitis is actually coronavirus and I'm bout to go play disease vector at the grocery store and cough on some grapes. Balls in your court cdc

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  21. 28. sij

    Went home sick because I'm coughing up what appear to be large chunks of brie. I'm a medical mystery!

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