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Vrijeme pridruživanja: listopad 2019.

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  1. 4. velj

    Not only did my state shit the bed with the , but we also apparently managed to pick the one dude Trump is almost guaranteed to beat. Way to go everyone!

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  2. 4. velj

    This is it. We're done. Whatever else happens from this point on, America as it was, as it was supposed to be, died choking on its own blood and no one could or would do a goddamn thing about it.

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  3. 4. velj

    The main result of the impeachment hearings is that now Donald Trump has assembled a list of enemies that he will spend the entire rest of his wretched life trying to destroy. We can't stop him or apparently even slow him down.

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  4. 4. velj

    3. It has become completely clear that no GOP member will EVER face any comeuppance for doing things that are either illegal or universally immoral. See: Rand Paul outing a government whistleblower because no one could stop him.

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  5. 4. velj

    2. EVERY A-hole Republican who should if this were a just and sane country be sitting in prison is using Iowa's failure as a blunt instrument, and unlike most of their other messaging, this one has some truth to it.

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  6. 4. velj

    Let's...let's just examine the state of play following the . 1. The Democrats have now shown that besides being unable to form a cohesive message or produce a good candidate, we also can't COUNT.

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  7. 4. velj

    In hopes of adding to the confusion, I should tell you all that Bernie did win my district but Mayor Pete was very close behind and given how the "delegates" system works it's very possible they tied in the final analysis. There is no . Again, sorry from Iowa.

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  8. 4. velj

    I won the . YOU LITERALLY CAN'T PROVE THAT I DIDN'T, so I'M THE NOMINEE NOW.

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  9. 4. velj

    I know I'm an Iowan and we're supposed to be apologists about the stupid but honestly if this isn't the funniest shit ever.

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  10. 4. velj

    Guys I know you're all busy being angry at the Iowa caucuses but I thought you'd want to check out Steve King's new bon mot.

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  11. 4. velj

    I don’t think my caucus chair knew what he was doing because we just pledged 17 delegates to Batman.

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  12. 4. velj

    Hey just signed a petition for you, bud. Proud to do it.

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  13. 4. velj

    They’re passing around a Manila folder now. We’re being told to whisper our sins into it. The guy next to me just whispered “all the birds” into it and handed it to me. Not sure what that means, not going to ask.

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  14. 4. velj

    We’re now using a jagged piece of glass to cut our palms to swear blood oaths to our candidate of choice. They’re having us smear the blood on a big photo of someone named Troy Price.

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  15. 4. velj

    We’re now being funneled into a large chamber that I believe is some sort of meat packing facility. Inside are big piles of cinderblocks that seem to be stained with something reddish-brown.

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  16. 4. velj

    “You look like 30 pounds of shit in a ten pound bag!” Says the lady who gives me my name sticker. I say thank you. She puts a cigarette out on her tongue.

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  17. 4. velj

    Update: There are waaay more clowns present at this gathering than I would have expected. Is this a meme I’m not aware of? Perhaps Amy Klobuchar is a juggalo or something.

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  18. 4. velj

    Update! I’m inside the place now. I was amazed to see Elizabeth Warren’s dog is here as a special guest! His name is Bufo and we are being warned that he will bite us if we look at him too long.

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  19. 4. velj

    Update! The caucus hobo has been arrested. He is currently being wrestled into a squad car. The cops are saying, “Every goddamn election, Frank!”

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  20. 4. velj

    Update! As many of you have noted, there is apparently no such thing as an official caucus gatekeeper. The man I was wrestling was in fact a hobo.

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