Simon

Damn man, I feel like I just want to yell, "HAVE YOU NO SHAME!?" at like half the internet. I don't believe in bullying but good grief, people should feel bad when they fuck up!

I've seen some comments that say Bernie's supporters "don't have the fortitude" to go against Trump. What does that mean? Trump says, "Baby Bernie" and Sanders' supporters burst into flames? They get "Idle Hands" hands? I hear "Stupid Sanders" and my brain leaks out of my ears.

All the Democrats have to do to beat Trump is not trip over their shoelaces. [Democrats bend down to tie their shoe laces, stumble, fall out the window onto the fire escape, tumble down a couple flight of stairs and finally fall into a sewer main.]

Absolutely amazing that in a race for a position literally called "Leader of the Free World" any criticism is somehow out of line. "Divisiveness." Get the fuck out of here.

Can’t wait for the Weyland-Yutani Super Bowl commercial saluting First Responders

“Banking, baby, yeah!” -Austin Powers for Goldman Sachs‘ Super Bowl commercial

Very disappointed the commercial I worked on starring Balki Bartokomous and DJ Jazzy Jeff for the military contractor Lockheed Martin didn’t make the cut for the Super Bowl broadcast.

Very cool of Sarah Huckabee Sanders to release her book information & cool off the Sanders/Warren feud by making both sides come together and say, "Okay, okay, don't blindly believe 100% of what women say abut also women are just as capable as men. Of leading, of being evil, etc"

Do you know what? This isn't even funny. He's the chief political analyst on one of the three major American networks. This guy IS American political analysis. No wonder it'll be Trump v. Biden drooling over themselves this November. We deserve worse, TBH.

"Ah, you say you're against people starving to death but you ate breakfast today. I guess you're not serious about that, interesting." -Matthew Dowd (I assume he just says this sort of shit to everybody)

Twitter is cool because you can say like, "The Iraq War was a good idea because it forced Millennials to go outside and not play video games all day," and then say some shit like, "Methinks the age of civility has passed," when called on it. Just an extraordinary outlet.

The most fantastical idea in Watchmen is that Senators on the Appropriations Committee get told about the squid hoax and keep it a secret. You think Liz Chaney and Kevin McCarthy could keep that a secret and not mention it during every conversation for the rest of their lives?

Sean Duffy Combs

Have to admit that I admire Tarantino’s attitude of, “You think you’ve noticed in my movies that I have a foot fetish? Fuck yeah I do, check this out...”

Ladies, get you a man that loves you as much as Tarantino loves feet.

Jesse Waters: America is like your wife and you shouldn't change her but Russia is like a 26 year old intern you're texting while America cooks you dinner and North Korea is like someone you could see yourself with in 5 years after she graduates college...

"The Communists, the socialists, and the radical left want you to treat women as human beings. Gross. Liberalism is a mental disorder!" And this guy is reaching for power! Very cool times we're living in.

Can't wait to hear about the feminazis attacking him.

People think that the racists and sexists will die out but this Mississippi guy (who wants to be the governor!) who has a policy that he can't be alone with a woman is 36 years old.

Doctor Sleep answers the question of what happened to Danny Torrance when he grew up (he somehow lost the ability to speak with an American accent).