Ok this word only entered my consciousness about 13 hours ago. WTF is incel?
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I had to learn it this week too ... involuntary celibacy - men who can't get women to have sex with them. (Feel like vomiting) apparently the van driver killer in Canada was an incel and that incited his attack.

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I should clarify. "Incel" is a specific group, not all involuntarily celibate men. Incels have entitled and violent beliefs about women. I don't know too much on it yet and maybe that's a good thing!

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"Incel" was actually coined by a woman who ran a blog & semi-support group for people regardless of gender who were celibate but didn't want to be, and acknowledged that often it's about learning social skills (among other reasons). Then misogynists hijacked it & became men only.
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This is a thing that frustrates me. I’ve read how “incel” was also used and useful in the trans community. I can recall uses of the phrase “friend zone” that did not accuse women (but which were about the idea of self-presentation).
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I think there are many mentally ill or socially challenged people for whom it is useful to acknowledge some basic principles with or about. One is that they need to be attteactive and explicitly ask out people appropriately, which is hard.
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But explicitly asking questions is key to affirmative consent. Also: many people’s awkwardness or status (esp. financial class, trans, etc) can interfere with ability to form relationships. Relevant to not just dudes but disadvantaged PoC, single moms. Celibacy snowballs.
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Yes, trans or gender non-conforming ppl can have trouble finding partners even if they have good social skills, esp in small towns or remote areas, as can physically disabled, mentally ill, autistic, socially awkward or low self-esteem folks, or folks in tough situations. Not…
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I'm doubtful. I'd imagine majority of them just cherrypick the things about that culture that make them feel better at this moment in their lives. That thin veneer will just melt away if they get their life in order. Optimistist is my middle name.
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Ask a woman. You have optimism. We have experience.
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That is fair. But it doesn't shake my optimism.
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So you don't really care about the danger to women (and other men) these guys pose, you're just going to stick with the rose-colored glasses?
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I don't think vast majority of them pose a danger. That is the admittedly limited view I have of the incel culture. Not really a thing worth more than a cursory look to me, IRL. And I stay away from fringe groups of any kind online. Not worth the headache.
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They probably don't pose a danger to you, and you don't seem to care if they pose a danger to women, despite their obvious contempt for consent and delight in violence toward women. Enjoy your optimism.
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He is right about one thing, most of them are likely harmless. The kind that talk big online but would shrink away from any threat or challenge in real life. That said, their mindset is dangerous and can spread to those that will hurt others for real.
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I mean, define harmless. Likely to drive through a crowd? Maybe not. But likely to abuse women? Absolutely. Being harassed or abused or doxxed isn’t harmless.
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Of the type of stuff incels post...dehumanising and predatory. Though I’ve seen the media outlets focus on how they rate women’s attractiveness. Yes that’s more important to know than the danger at the heart of the misogyny
pic.twitter.com/qHjp7eOeZE
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I’ve seen this before and it made me feel so sick. On so many levels.
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It’s horrendous. I didn’t like sharing tbh but there’s so much on this topic which infers how we incite this violence..when here is one showing girls & women do nothing to incite this predatory behaviour. He just wanted to feel powerful and important.
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Exactly, we get blamed “she was wearing this and that” “she led me on” so often, but it’s never actually about that. It’s about power and entitlement and dehumanising us. Thank you for sharing. This needs to be seen. x
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