Cis, he/him, not interesting. Leftlib/Demsoc cusp, Socdem rising, moon in Ancom. Header: my buddy Alexander, best cat in the world, 3/02–10/16. 
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(this zero-sum view is also where the fear comes from: they [and obviously "they" in all of this mainly means cishet white "conservative" Christian men] feel an urgency to opposing anything that helps another group, because they assume all other groups will want revenge.)
there's also a, probably even deeper, fear, a fear of not understanding/not being in control, involved in the insistence that everything about the way they believed the world was when they were kids, is good and true and should stay that way forever.
if as a child you learn that everything is clean-cut and clear and neatly categorizable, and that you can understand the whole world by Rules, it might feel very threatening to hear people say the Rules you learned were wrong, because then what if _all_ Rules are wrong?
what if it destabilizes the entire _concept_ of Rules, and in fact the world is complicated and messy, and nothing stays inside the lines we draw for it, and all our labels and categories and ways of understanding are just approximations built on shaky foundations?
which is of course the truth of the universe, everything is quantum chaos ultimately, all our categories are socially constructed, porous, and mutable over time.
it can feel safer, for a while, to insist on rigidity and to reject the messiness, but everyone knows what happens to overly-rigid things as vs. flexible things, when the wind blows hard enough.
a million years ago, in the Old Blog Era, I tried to get at this idea a bit after seeing @hanneblank's talk for the launch of her book on the invention of heterosexualityhttps://finenessandaccuracy.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/instability/ …
it is maybe not easier, but in the long run it is certainly more effective to find ways to be adaptable to instability, than to expend futile effort trying to stabilize what inherently can't be made solid (there is no such thing as solid, all matter is mostly space)
(probably related: Christians asserting atheists really just hate god, or saying "but if you don't fear hell/hope for heaven, what stops you from just killing people all the time"—fear that if the world isn't boxed in and controlled by clear and strict rules, there's only chaos)
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