Opens profile photo
Follow
Ross Sayers
@Sayers33
Author. MARY'S THE NAME, SONNY AND ME, DAISY ON THE OUTER LINE THE EVERLIVING MEMORY OF JOHN VALENTINE - Out now! he/him
Glasgow, ScotlandJoined January 2015

Ross Sayers’s Tweets

Hello mate would you like to come to my big party in London today. Yes my brother the pedophile will be there why does everyone keep asking me that
6
18.9K
Listen son enough about 'AI' , go and print some copies of your 'CV' and hand them into shops in the town centre
1
79
Each to their own re: the coronation as far as I'm concerned. Some people believe an unelected bloodline was chosen by god to rule over us for the rest of time, and some people are normal. Be kind.
173
Me: Skinny Malinky long legs, big banana Beastie Boys: FEET Me: Went to the pictures but couldnae find a Beastie Boys: SEAT
2
344
Kendall Roy as Mario: so, uh, we just. fuckin. storm the castle. right? bumrush the goombas. mushroom kingdom. here we come? Roman Roy as Luigi: uh yeah. unless. Are we sure? I heard Peach has been blowin Bowser. licking his Koopa nuts. But no. We should save her or whatever
2
140
The attitude of a certain class of old property-owning bastards in this country is that kids should not be on the streets or the playgrounds while also not being ‘fat’ or ‘lazy’ and staying off their damn phones and ‘Nintendos’. Teenagers especially cannot win.
23
1,079
Show this thread
Never seen someone get the lyrics to It's Raining Men so wrong before
Quote Tweet
🚨 | NEW: For the first time in HISTORY, millions across the country will be asked to make their promise to the King by saying the following out loud: “I swear that I will pay true allegiance to Your Majesty, and to your heirs and successors according to law. So help me God.”
Show this thread
Image
1
107
Frasier episode where he slowly learns everyone has a Bluesky account apart from him and no one will send him a link (Martin used his invite to set up an account for Eddie)
5
Hey bro y'know that super realistic painting of a tunnel you did on the side of the mountain to lure the Road Runner? Yeah well I've just ran into it full force. It's not funny. I'm as flat as a pancake. I don't know what my life will be like going forward
160
'The internet's hottest social media site is Bluesky. This place has everything. Posts, replies, dril, no Elon Musk, the exact appearance and functionality of Twitter when it used to work, invite codes.'
Image
9
What order are you going to do the double bill
  • Oppenheimer then Barbie
    42.7%
  • Barbie then Oppenheimer
    57.3%
110 votesFinal results
2
5
Instead of changing the name of the app from All 4 to Channel 4, they should change the app from one that is shit and doesn't work to one that is good and does work
40
Oh so you won't pay £11 a month for Twitter Blue but you *will* pay £85 for a grinch to pour Fairy up liquid and a 2L bottle of juice over your son? Interesting
3
1,553
Is there a more annoying feeling than chucking a knife into the sink then realising you need to butter a second thing
1
82