So that's 'The Everliving Memory of John Valentine' officially released! Thanks so much to everyone who pre-ordered and cheers in advance to those picking up theirs soon. Really hope youse enjoy it! 🙏
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Ross Sayers
@Sayers33
Author. MARY'S THE NAME, SONNY AND ME, DAISY ON THE OUTER LINE THE EVERLIVING MEMORY OF JOHN VALENTINE - Out now! he/him
Glasgow, ScotlandJoined January 2015
Ross Sayers’s Tweets
Hello mate would you like to come to my big party in London today. Yes my brother the pedophile will be there why does everyone keep asking me that
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Seeing the corporate accounts I follow promoting all this coronation shit today
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I didn't even know there was a version of the Tenable theme tune that had swearing
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Listen son enough about 'AI' , go and print some copies of your 'CV' and hand them into shops in the town centre
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Each to their own re: the coronation as far as I'm concerned. Some people believe an unelected bloodline was chosen by god to rule over us for the rest of time, and some people are normal. Be kind.
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Me: Skinny Malinky long legs, big banana
Beastie Boys: FEET
Me: Went to the pictures but couldnae find a
Beastie Boys: SEAT
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Kendall Roy as Mario: so, uh, we just. fuckin. storm the castle. right? bumrush the goombas. mushroom kingdom. here we come?
Roman Roy as Luigi: uh yeah. unless. Are we sure? I heard Peach has been blowin Bowser. licking his Koopa nuts. But no. We should save her or whatever
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The attitude of a certain class of old property-owning bastards in this country is that kids should not be on the streets or the playgrounds while also not being ‘fat’ or ‘lazy’ and staying off their damn phones and ‘Nintendos’. Teenagers especially cannot win.
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Never seen someone get the lyrics to It's Raining Men so wrong before
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| NEW: For the first time in HISTORY, millions across the country will be asked to make their promise to the King by saying the following out loud:
“I swear that I will pay true allegiance to Your Majesty, and to your heirs and successors according to law. So help me God.”Show this thread
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Gotta keep em humble eh
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And the best part of all - Ashley included a quote from a 1 star Amazon review on the Sonny and Me poster
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And the best part of all - Ashley included a quote from a 1 star Amazon review on the Sonny and Me poster
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So surprised me with a late birthday present yesterday - my books on the electronic billboard in Shepherd's Bush. Couldn't believe it! Thank you for the annoyingly good present that I will struggle to ever top.
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i’m the only bitch serving cunt here 
omg i’m soooo embarrassed
omg i’m soooo embarrassed 4
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Frasier episode where he slowly learns everyone has a Bluesky account apart from him and no one will send him a link (Martin used his invite to set up an account for Eddie)
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the worst kind of twitter bio is something like "katie's husband. father to jenny" i don't know who that is, dip shit
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Hey bro y'know that super realistic painting of a tunnel you did on the side of the mountain to lure the Road Runner? Yeah well I've just ran into it full force. It's not funny. I'm as flat as a pancake. I don't know what my life will be like going forward
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Homophobic Kermit the Frog: Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
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When you beat the your film only has one screenshot allegations
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De Niro and DiCaprio in Martin Scorsese’s KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON
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Seinfeld episode where George plays for Spurs who get thrashed 6-1 and the players have to reimburse the fans but George didn't come on until the 85th minute and refuses to pay.
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'The internet's hottest social media site is Bluesky. This place has everything. Posts, replies, dril, no Elon Musk, the exact appearance and functionality of Twitter when it used to work, invite codes.'
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What order are you going to do the double bill
- Oppenheimer then Barbie42.7%
- Barbie then Oppenheimer57.3%
110 votesFinal results
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"I'm becoming increasingly concerned that trans people are becoming demonised," Conservative MP Michael Fabricant tells the Women's and Equalities minister Kemi Badenoch.
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Instead of changing the name of the app from All 4 to Channel 4, they should change the app from one that is shit and doesn't work to one that is good and does work
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Oh so you won't pay £11 a month for Twitter Blue but you *will* pay £85 for a grinch to pour Fairy up liquid and a 2L bottle of juice over your son? Interesting
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Is there a more annoying feeling than chucking a knife into the sink then realising you need to butter a second thing
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*doing a hauntingly beautiful acoustic cover of the Modern Family theme tune* hey hey... hey hey...
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