In light of recent events, I’ve been thinking about how romantic relationships, gender roles, and consent are portrayed in fiction—particularly in science fiction and fantasy. Our genre sees a number of evergreen tropes that could really stand an update, or a genderbend.
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If Eowyn were male—if The Lord of the Rings were Eowyn’s story—if Tolkien were a lesser writer—she would spend the rest of the series proving her worth as a romantic partner and relentlessly pursuing the person who already rejected her.
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We see this pattern again and again in fiction—and in real life. “No,” is too often taken as “not yet” or “convince me.” But Eowyn is smarter and more emotionally literate than that. (She is no man—but in this version, let’s pretend she is.) “No” means “no.”
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So what does Eowyn do? She performs heroic acts anyway—not to impress a romantic interest—but to save her uncle and liege lord, to protect her people, to defend the world against evil. In her story, there are greater causes than romantic love.
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At the end, Aragorn never has to look at the balance of Eowyn’s deeds and decide whether she’s proven herself worthy—or more worthy than Arwen—because that’s not the point. Love isn’t a game to be won. One doesn’t accumulate points in order to change someone’s mind about romance.
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In Eowyn’s story, she doesn’t end up with the character she—or her author—earmarked as her One True Love. Instead, she meets Faramir. Eowyn’s is a story about free will—hers, her partner’s, and her author’s.
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Faramir is never put on a pedestal. He is not a long-lost king. He is not Estel, the hope of his people. He is just a man, a good man doing his best for his country in a time of darkness. Eowyn talks with him for days and days. She falls in love with a real person, not an idea.
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Eowyn’s story is not about a choice between two potential partners. Aragorn is not an option. She is told this—ONCE—and that suffices. She continues to stand by him as a friend, an ally sworn to common cause, for reasons that have nothing to do with him—without ulterior motive.
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Faramir is NOT second best, for all that he might think this—for reasons that have nothing to do with Eowyn or Aragorn. Faramir is present and real in Eowyn’s world as Aragorn never would be. Eowyn knows this. A maiden in a cold house, she knows all about being present and real.
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So. Give me more male protagonists in Eowyn’s mold. Give me fierce, proud, idealistic men who carry their darknesses and insecurities on the page—who nonetheless know how to take “no” for an answer—who take that “no,” that hurt, and forge themselves into a better person.
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End of conversation
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Great thread!
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