How can we care for both: - Being able to totally fucking express what's coming up for you - Actually being heard by the receiver of that, instead of putting them on the defensive (A thread on the live edge of navigating different frameworks for communication & emotional work)https://twitter.com/SarahAMcManus/status/1188954019378683905 …
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Both of those strategies completely undermine and interfere with collaborative sense-making & calibration & navigation! Nearly impossible to escape self-reinforcing confusion tangles in an isolated 2-person system, if those patterns are present.
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In the example dialogue I linked to at the top of this thread, I described Bob & Alice getting into this 2-person trap (accusation / defensiveness) I described them escaping the trap through talking with other trusted friends, feeling heard, and then coming back into dialogue
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- Or undermining other people's self-trust to maintain control & power