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The more I think about this thread, the more I think it’s probably one of the most important things currently on Twitter. Large populations of lonely, celibate people isn’t socially or economically good in any scenario. It’s more likely to be really, really bad.
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David Autor's work shows the falling status of men relative to women in the same age cohort, particularly non-college educated men, has contributed to declining male labor force participation, less family formation and a host of other social problems. There's no need for snark. twitter.com/drvolts/status…
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Failure to see this as much greater than petty competition between genders indicates an incredibly poor understanding of the basic human need for connectedness, on both practical/existential levels + subsequent impact on individual/societal well-being when connections fall apart.
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20th century sociology contributed tons of great work (research + theory) in this area. So did anthropology, psych, and even some economic history. From what I’ve seen, much of this isn’t taught anymore, or is glossed over as historical literature to PhD students only.
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Back to the issue of gender: The point a lot of people seem to miss is that mismatch in dating/marriage markets is bad for women too. Unless we assume that women aren’t *also* susceptible to unhappiness when celibate and alone like men are, nobody is winning here.
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To be glib, I don’t imagine that the knowledge of having out-earned their male counterparts is going to offer much consolation to a hoard of 45 y.o. childless cat ladies who 15 years earlier were patting themselves on the back for out-statusing men instead of partnering w/ them.
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Similarly, I don’t imagine that the knowledge of having “owned” feminists on/offline is going to offer consolation to a hoard of 45 y.o. jobless & disenfranchised males who 15 years earlier gave up even trying to get women/status bc they were convinced the system had been rigged.
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FWIW, I can see plenty of potential outcomes to this that don’t undermine women’s opportunities for professional achievement, & also don’t obligate them to marry downward. It’s clear most women aren’t intothat, even if male feminists wish to believe otherwise.
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What’s insulting to you? It’s not like I had a child when I wanted one so I’m in the same statistics pool you are. This seems like a byproduct of the feminist conflict: how to be an independent woman and a mother with ease. Tough stuff.
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I don’t think anyone “should” be telling anyone else what they “should” do since happiness is internally driven not some external edict someone else gets to dictate. I don’t think it was particularly different for my generation, either.
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Isn’t that true of anything though? Problems are only problems when we look at them as problems. It’s a mindset as much as anything. Sorry you’re feeling insulted in some way. I certainly didn’t mean to insult you, says the old maid sans kids. 🤷‍♀️
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I’m not convinced the breakdown of social institutions that enable families is altogether a problem though. I mean, it may be in your mind and that’s cool. I think an overhaul to our system wherein we assess these things is actually useful. You may not.