Sam “RanchBoi” Offutt

@SamOffutt

Iowa enthusiast. Big fan of rural Japan and college football. Corn-fed. Corn-bred. Corn-bread. Hedonist. Consequentialist/Utilitarian/Neoliberal in name only.

Detroit Metro
Vrijeme pridruživanja: srpanj 2010.

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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I haven’t heard Busch Light once. The national media doesn’t even know us.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    What time is Shakira performing at the caucuses.

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    At one Des Moines precinct tonight, an attendee brought in a concealed bottle of wine, dropped it, and it shattered everywhere

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  5. 3. velj

    Can we get a Paul Rudd cam?

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  6. 3. velj

    NFL overtime rules are despicable. How have they not been fixed yet? I really hope we don’t have to suffer though NFL OT in this game.

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    3. velj

    I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% ’s biggest fan.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    [please no wardrobe malfunctions] [please no wardrobe malfunctions] [please no wardrobe malfunctions] [please no wardrobe malfunctions] [please no wardrobe malfunctions] [please no wardrobe malfunctions] [please no wardrobe malfunctions]

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  9. 3. velj

    5G Apophasis

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  10. 29. sij
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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Earlier today, while reporting on the tragic news of Kobe Bryant’s passing, I unfortunately stuttered on air, combining the names of the Knicks and the Lakers to say “Nakers.” Please know I did not & would NEVER use a racist term. I apologize for the confusion this caused.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. sij

    Welcome to the Fast Family. comes out in theaters May 22. Reply to unsubscribe.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. sij

    whats the best currency? you, a regular person: paper cash old ron paul libertarians: gold bullion chumps with nice graphics cards: bitcoin this guy, a fucking genius: video game pre-orders

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  14. 20. sij
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  15. 19. sij

    Genuinely can’t tell if this a sincere tweet or not!

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    This is hilarious. A Norwegian TV programme pitted some professional stock-pickers against an astrologist, some beauty bloggers and - i kid you not - cows shitting in a field. (short thread).

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  17. 16. sij
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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Our son(!!!) taunting the crowd in Philly will never not be wonderful

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    When I was 20, a man I barely knew proposed without a ring. I said yes. Within months, we were married, and women started calling the house asking for him at all hours of the night. Read my latest in the :

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. pro 2019.

    /cracks knuckles/ Bowl wins by Iowa QBs with the last name beginning “STAN” since 2008- 6 Iowa State bowl victories all time in the history of their 128 year old program- 4

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