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Sam Diss
@SamDiss
writer and freelance creative consultant / email: samdissnew@gmail.com / ex: head of brand at , head of content at , etc
Hackney, Londonsamdiss.substack.comJoined March 2009

Sam Diss’s posts

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some personal news: i've left and i'm now freelance. really proud of the work i've done there, building a fun, thoughtful brand from scratch and learning a lot, but looking forward to stretching my legs and excited for what comes next. my DMs are, of course, open.
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Jurassic Park remains a perfect movie: the first hour is all set up, second hour is just dinosaurs attacking children. perfect
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what is your favourite painting? this is mine, The Floor Scrapers by Caillebotte. nearly cried seeing it in Paris, still not sure why i find it so affecting; maybe it’s the light on the tiny balcony i am feeling very tired and would like to see some paintings you really love
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Jenkinson once turned up to one of our Sunday league games in an absolutely rascal gilet and ice white trainers. ball went up in the air and out of play and he shouted "JENKO" from the sideline and trapped it dead. he's an icon.
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🤝 Jenkinson joins! #NFFC are delighted to announce the signing of England international defender @carljenkinson for an undisclosed fee from @Arsenal on a three-year contract.
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the pettiness of Kendrick dissing Drake and then putting Rihanna on his album featuring on a track called "Loyalty" is extremely great.
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accidentally printed my boarding pass on A3 paper and they look like novelty cheques. it’s become the talk of Gibraltar airport that I looked like I’d just won a postcode lottery when the gates for my flight opened
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can't believe it's been six years since Danny Dyer couldn't believe it'd been nearly 11 years since them slags smashed into the twin towers
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watching skeleton at the Winter Olympics: [first race] hahaha it’s called “skeleton”! [seventh race] you see, what the rider needs to be doing is hitting the wall at corner 9 parallel so they can use the pressure to balance out their line into 10
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*record scratch* *freeze frame* yep, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got into this situation
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Idris Elba won't say no to anything, will he? I almost respect it. Just replies "yes" to every email. Doesn't even read them. They send him the postcode and he pops his flat cap on and heads out the door. No messing.
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actually, Kasper, the 'it' referred to in 'it's coming home' is not a trophy, but more a decentralised feeling of unity, pride, and spiritual wellness, the kind we have needed so dearly, the kind which can only come from folksong shared between like-minds in the stands and (1/66)
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Huge fan of Bielsa doing a nine hour presentation of mind-numbing tactical minutae to journalists who turned up expecting blood. He’s just like “You are only mad at me because you don’t have the patience to be a spy, so fuck you.” Fair play to him.
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found out that Claudio Pizarro co-owns a race horse called "Crying Lightning" with Joey Barton and can only imagine the state of the 4am session that lead to that decision being made
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i regret to inform you that if u get the Mizuno logo and the Champion logo and put them together, it looks a bit like Batman dabbing. sorry
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that single, perfect curl that always hangs over Federer’s headband is the most important look in modern sporting history
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that Gove tweet obviously wasn’t written by him, but makes me shudder to think of the pink faced Tory 25-year-olds that hold the keys to political social accounts on the same phones they message the “Canterbury Mandem!” whatsapp groups full of their school friends
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haven't been the same since i found out "grab bag" crisps just mean that the bag has more air in them so they're easier to fucking grab
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London is one big office party tonight, bubbling over with men in salmon pink shirts from TM Lewin and Amazon Prime’d Xmas jumpers who’ve spent the past week trying to buy a single gram of coke specially for the occasion.
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Cristiano Ronaldo is going to find the biggest mirror in Paris and wank himself into an absolute coma
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by far the best squad in world football getting bumped by a team run by granit xhaka and the minecraft messi
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what are your favourite short-ish books? i’m talking less-than-300 pages, blow-through-it-in-a-weekend whirlwind of a book. this is the season of really good but easy-to-digest books. i’m after those yakult books.
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Jamie Redknapp plumbing the depths of human banality, week after week, year after year, in his suits, just fucking saying things, just saying stuff, the words coming out, an endless stream, and they don’t mean a thing
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not buying any of the Queen news until we get a sombre 'Here, I'm afraid, we go' off Fabrizio Romano.
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one of my most basic opinions, sure, but this whole scene is one of the all-timers. an absolute screamer. everyone rightly talks about the opening - the menacing glass of milk, the shit-eating grin, the floorboards - but this scene is a film unto itself.
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been home one day and eaten so many carbs my breathing has changed. it just sounds different now. think i might have bread lung
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i love these BBC Archive flashbacks. here's a bunch of excellent accents bemoaning creeping decimalisation and swapping miles for 'kilimolimetres' on this day in 1978. a lot of "protect wot we fought and nearly died for" sentiment that hasn't changed much
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yesterday i learned that Game Of Thrones creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss wrote the Always Sunny episode Flowers For Charlie
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nothing but respect for Diogo Dalot doing seven separate celebrations for his goal: he’s seen his chance and he’s made the most of it.
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some of the dialogue's been toilet but S8 of Game Of Thrones has been consistently very fun. people pretending they're fucking Robert McKee and going on about satisfying story arcs need to give it a rest, if I'm honest.
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We don't make enough of how brilliant watching football live on television is. Football's just the best TV show ever made. The Sopranos, The Wire, all that. Nothing comes close. Nothing touches it. Even when it lulls and frustrates, these transcendent moments are something else.
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real shame to hear about Sean Lock, one of the few comedian's to poke his head above the TV panel show parapet and actually say something funny, interesting, or unexpected. also would sometimes just shout "OH FUCK OFF" instead of coming back w/ a written quip. like a human would.
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absolutely in awe of Eric Cantona hating Liverpool so much that he'd post a video on Instagram just to rattle United's team and already-confused fanbase, leaving City to smash right through them like a brutally-erect penis slamming into a raw egg.
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Sheffield is a nice place. been here for nearly a week now and the people are sound, very laid-back. they just want a beer and to tell you about how the town was built "on seven hills, like Rome" and how good the new Nando's is. (I've been to the Nando's and it is good)
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a guy is patiently explaining the concept of perspective to his young son who is confused as to why a building closer to him appears bigger than the Shard and like wow you really have to explain everything to these little dickheads don’t you
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for 3 years i worked 2 full time jobs to make this mag w my mates and, in 2018, i quit my job to dedicate all my time to it. which was terrifying. but we’re still here and each issue since has felt like a blessing —subscribers are the thing that keeps that going.
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We are revealing the cover for Issue 21 next week, it's a real coming of age. In the meantime, because we are nice, we're offering 15% discount on all subscriptions. Enter 'BIGLAST15' at checkout and save money on your next four issues of MUNDIAL. buff.ly/2VCsja0
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love watching old movies where they head into offices of people sat at desks with no computer, just a few sheets of paper in front of them. a whole day of underlining and circling numbers before heading home to eat roast beef in your dressing gown before bed. now that is living
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my favourite DJ is the bloke who DJs Rowan’s on Fridays and just plays fucking enormous tunes while checking his whatsapp
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Virgil van Dijk is a properly imperious defender, strutting about, never looks like he’s gonna lose the ball, never looking like he’s gonna be beaten. Love nothing more than a centre-half who just glides about while everyone else is panting.
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the Portuguese Eurovision winner leaves comments saying "Whatever happened to real hip hop?" under Young Thug videos on YouTube
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need to spare a thought on unreasonably warm days for lads at uni going through their "what if i just wore a suit every day?" phase
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Replying to
“old man is proud of his dinosaurs but feels kinda awkward about the fact they keep disembowelling people so eats ice cream” is such an amazing plot point
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what are small habits that have helped you make big, positive differences at work? like, really small. not "go to the gym at 7am"; that is not small, that is psychopathic
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Harry Styles defo says "namaste" to production assistants when they bring his vanilla rooibos tea, innit
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my favourite thing about Certified Lover Boy is the fact that an artist called Certified Lover Boy dropped an album called 'Drake' on Spotify hours before Drake's actually album went live. the SEO hustle is incredibly real.
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after six years at , i'm leaving to go freelance and looking forward to what comes next. for consultancy, commissions, and other opportunities, my DMs are open 🍻🍻
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moved into a lovely new house in north-west london and i would like to ask you a question: what is a totally non-essential purchase you have made for your house that has improved your life?
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something decidedly unhinged about people who chose to start laughter with an A instead of an H 'ahahahaha' just feels so much more manic
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YOU'LL NEVER SING THAT YOU'LL NEVER SING THAAAATT FIRST AWAY TEAM TO WIN A COMPETITIVE FIXTURE AT THE NEW TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR STADIUM YOU'LL NEVER SING THAT
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just miss being in the pub and saying "thought you'd fallen in" to anyone who goes to the bathroom for any amount of time
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a nice example of the upper-class privilege to do whatever you want is the shade "Eton Blue" being literally fucking green
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"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I AM" oh man, nine years to the day since Pete Weber got a little bit caught up in the moment.
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Do you think Birdy has recorded her crushing, acoustic Three Lions cover for tomorrow evening’s exit montage yet? You know, just in case
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Replying to
also “nerd annoyed at not getting a pay rise puts many lives at risk for selfish gain until he eventually dies because he can’t drive” is another plot that’s aged very well
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also Samuel L Jackson‘s cigarette ash permanently dangling at the point of no return while never actually falling off is fucking intense
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