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  1. **seconds later** Dad: Fuck!!! Me: 😑 seriously? ... Dad: it's different... He dropped the football.

  2. Me: Fuck! Dad: That's not very attractive [side eye] Me: You know how many fucks I give, Papa? Ooh look at that...there they go...

  3. "It comes down to reality And it's fine with me cause I've let it…

  4. Idk why I use a calendar app to track shark week. The crying-at-commercials, boobs hurt, NEED-🍩🍰🍦🍕🍟method is always so much more accurate.

  5. Ewww...that felt so gross...do it again.

  6. Goodbye, my loves!!! I can't wait to see you again 😙 @ Cracker…

  7. Damn boy, are you a bra? Because you make me uncomfortable but society has brainwashed me into thinking I need you

  8. Profound 5 year old thoughts, "Kindness is love. Love is a miracle. Then love is a Christmas miracle. Its what I wished for for Christmas."

  9. Felt nonstop shivers throughout my entire body. Cried, multiple times. Overall, just in awe of her magnificence 😢😭😖😍

    • @SOS_EnEsp

      Informes Hiperlocales por el Programa de Periodismo en Mt. SAC

    • @brokenshipsLA

      Museum of Broken Relationships, Los Angeles. Opening 2016!

  10. Only at do we evacuate the campus and blow up a goddamned .

  11. After Afterthought: Do not laugh at one's own jokes. It may lead to choking. 😲 Also -felatioIsDangerous

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