and if someone tells you a thing you did was racist and your response is "I'm NOT a racist", you most certainly missed the point of the critique
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and if someone tells you a thing you did was racist and you perceive it as an insult rather than a critique, you have just given everyone one less reason to believe your repeated assertions that you are "NOT a racist"
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(seeing each of these things so regularly that really, no, this is not subtweeting one particular person. too many to count.)
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oh, finally – if you are truly progressive, truly anti-racist: when a person of colour tells you that a thing you did was racist, they are doing you a favour. they are helping you be the person you aspire to be.
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and they are doing so fully aware of the risks their help poses to *them*.
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show some gratitude, learn (even if you may disagree! why not learn?), and in the process do what you can to minimise those risks
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PS if people tell you something you do causes harm to them, and they tell you again and again *how* it causes harm to them, and your response is "we haven't surveyed enough people to know whether this thing is even an issue", you're asking the wrong questions to the wrong people.
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End of conversation
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