Conversation

4) By default, my position is: a) if they're generally reasonable, always *listen* and try to understand what they're saying and why b) don't default to taking the advice--default to considering it, and seeing whether it actually net changes your mind.

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5) Basically, 'do the Bayesian update'. You had some prior thoughts, now you hear conflicting thoughts from an outsider. Do they see something you don't? Did you already account for their factor?

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6) But there's something else that goes on with advice, something much more pernicious. There are entire swaths of advice I categorically ignore, because certain types are basically never a real update. Those types: advice that isn't actually designed to help your company.

7) Sometimes there's something selfish going on there -- some VC wants to get better terms, or a customer wants a rebate, or something. Those I get, and I almost don't mind! But sometimes they're not. Sometimes the advice would just hurt both of you.

8) And it's not just that they thought hard about what's best for the company but are wrong. It's that there are some very fundamental problems with their thought process; chiefly that it isn't actually really designed to create good outcomes.

9) What are some examples? a) "Please add an amendment to your bylaws stating that you must always have an even number of employees" b) "Make sure that investors have the right to approve/reject your choice of chewing gum" c) "Make sure to take more vacations"

10) Ok, so the first two aren't real. But they get at something that always confuses me: they're ways of placing arbitrary restrictions on the business against the better judgement of the team without a clear explanation for why the team would get those decisions wrong.

11) There are some restrictions that I totally understand, like "please add a rule saying that you can't steal from the company". I mean, you know, there's already the law and stuff for that, but at least it's pointing directly at a conflict of interest.

12) But much of the advice you get from people just seems weirdly paternalistic. By mandating that you must do X as a company, they're not just saying that they think X is right; you could do X even if they don't require it.

13) They're saying that, even conditional on you knowing they think X is right and you then deciding that you still think X is wrong-- that even in those cases, X is still right, no matter what you say.

14) All of which is totally reasonable if you think the team is doing a shit job and needs to be overruled! But if you really believe in a company, it's a weird stance to take.

15) And you could say that it isn't really that bad anyway--so what if it's wrong and you have to hire an extra person to get to an even number? Well the problem is that there are also *other* arbitrary constraints on your business, and sometimes they conflict.

16) If a group of investors mandates an even number of employees, and then a country mandates a prime number, now you're left with no choice but to fire until there are only 2 people left. Constraints exponentially restrict your actions. You *really* want to minimize them.

17) Anyway, that brings us to the last type of bad advice; one which is, from some perspectives, the most perplexing. When people specifically take examples where there's a conflict of interest, and try to convince you to take the... ...selfish route.

18) Partially, I think people have misguided notions about the abstract moral value of balance. Also, though, their advice isn't really meant to help the company. Really they're trying to be good and selfless themselves!

19) They're trying to make your life better, at the expense of the company. Maybe it's because they don't trust you to stop yourself from burning out. Maybe it's because they like and respect you, and so want the best for you personally.

20) Either way, there's something big those types of advice often miss. They come at your life from behind some sort of veil of ignorance, assuming that "vacation = good, work = bad". Sometimes there's pretty compelling evidence that's wrong.

21) It's hard for people to see that, sometimes; hard for people to see why you'd *want* to make that trade. They probably don't see all the other trades you've made. That it would be silly to have made those tradeoffs, and then at the last point stop trying so hard.

22) Anyway, I guess my point is: Getting advice is really important. A lot of the things I've learned have come others. And you should set yourself up to get great advice, and put lots of focus on it. When you find someone who is usually right, treasure that.

23) But that doesn't mean that all advice is good advice, even if it comes from good people. And sometimes the advice is bad in confusing ways. Sometimes there isn't much of an explanation for why they give it, other than "idk that's what they think they're *supposed* to say".