Run Jokes

@RunJokes

Running jokes to hopefully raise a smile, with the occasional sport related pun thrown in.

Vrijeme pridruživanja: svibanj 2017.

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  1. 31. sij

    Asked a trainer in the gym, what kind of machine I should use to make myself more attractive to women? He said, "Try a cash machine"

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  2. 30. sij

    I've been told I'm not ambitious enough. If only there was an olympic sport for being lazy. That bronze medal would be mine.

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  3. 29. sij

    They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

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  4. 20. sij

    I was in my garden and saw 10 ants running frantically... So I made them a little house out of cardboard. I guess that makes me their landlord and them...my tenants.

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  5. 18. sij

    My wife tried to leave me this morning because I am over-competitive! “Not if I leave first!” I yelled as I raced passed her to the front door!

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  6. 17. sij

    I tried drag racing the other day It's murder trying to run in heels.

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  7. 14. sij

    My mate James said "you should always quit while you're ahead" Great bloke, terrible at the 100m sprint.

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  8. 10. sij

    A hot woman came up to me in a bar and said.. "Do you want me to show you good time?" "Yes please!!!", I replied Then she ran 100m in 9.73 seconds

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  9. 8. sij

    Might wake up early and go for a jog. Might also win the lottery... odds are about the same.

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  10. 7. sij

    Does pushing my luck count as exercise?

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  11. 6. sij

    I just had to chase a mugger down the street after he stole my wallet! He really gave me a run for my money.

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  12. 3. sij

    My wife ran off with the guy next door. I'm really starting to miss him.

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  13. 2. sij

    How do you get rid of a fat ghost in a house? You exercise it.

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  14. 2. sij

    Did you hear about the cheese that failed to medal at the Olympics? It fell at the final curdle.

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  15. 1. sij

    What's the toughest part of the Chinese Marathon? That moment you hit the wall.

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  16. 31. pro 2019.

    Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t. It’s my longest running joke of the year.

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  17. 30. pro 2019.

    You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both."

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  18. 29. pro 2019.

    I really didn’t want to go on a run today. But then police showed up from nowhere.

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  19. 29. pro 2019.

    One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been injured. We don’t have Oleg to stand on.

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  20. 29. pro 2019.

    Noses run in my family.

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