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My girlfriend told me she's pregnant for an April Fools prank. Joke was on her, I still pushed her down the stairs
731 Retweets 1 355 favoris
If we were not already in space, 75% of the Internet would say we can never get there because there is no air.
15 Retweets 20 favoris
Were the time go 3 weeks left the maintain is near #arrow 15 days left pic.twitter.com/ouM3rpTNVr
Dear @DCComics, please start writing for children again instead of whoever this was intended to please. pic.twitter.com/HHTgZ3RIct
Most women claim men lack imagination and creativity. They obviously haven't seen a man when he loses his bottle opener.
195 Retweets 286 favoris
Soundtrack of the day! #TotalEclipse
https://youtu.be/Zz_OXb6BCBo?t=3m51s …
YouTube
What is it like to be a twenty-something American watching a bunch of Republican fossils attack grandma Clinton for using email wrong?
13 Retweets 24 favorisStudy says husbands who do more household chores get more sex. Fails to mention that having more sex creates more cleaning chores. No win.
8 Retweets 16 favoris
Read the newspaper by the pool today. Like some sort of wild animal.
820 Retweets 3 318 favorisTip for gentlemen: If a woman offers herself to you, maintain a straight face and say "What's in it for me?"
12 Retweets 22 favorisI was doing final art on a comic and realized I accidentally wrote the line I want on my tombstone. pic.twitter.com/KR62be4hkK
Tip: Never sleep with someone who watches more dramas on TV than comedies.
8 Retweets 6 favoris
When mirrors were invented, did the first old person to look in one shout "Holy shit, what the hell happened?!"
6 Retweets 4 favoris
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