Aspiring social justice magician. 
riley.faelan@gmail.com.
That this combination is possible is one of my major reasons for opposing truscummery.
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My experience with gender dysphoria is paradoxical. Both of the following, intuitively contradictionary, things are true: * My transition, is, to a significant degree, motivated by me escaping dysphoria. * Before my transition began, I thought I did not have gender dysphoria.
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I've at times said I don't have dysphoria. What's going on is that what gender(s) I'm congruent and incongruent with have a tendency to change. So there have been long stretches where I've been congruent with being a demiboy which is how I lived most of my life so no dysphoria
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For me, the stumbling block was the "clinically significant distress". I knew I had severe trouble with anxiety and "some features of depression", and I didn't feel right about being AMAB, but I didn't see the connection between these things.
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So much this! Until I experienced gender *euphoria* for the first time, I thought that I hadn't experienced dysphoria. Dysphoria felt 'normal'. But always hating my facial hair? That was dysphoria. No longer recognizing myself in the mirror/in photos at age 28? Dysphoria.
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I feel the same way. I don't think I had the words to describe what I felt before coming out to myself. I had no idea that it was dysphoria, just that I felt bad, and wrong.
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This is why I put euphoria first in the article I'm writing about GD. So many of us don't know how much pain we're in until we see the light.
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Most people live their life’s on a 1 to 10 scale rarely a 1 (really down) sometimes a 10 (really happy) Pre transition I lived my life 2 to 5 thinking that was perfectly normal 2, I was sad 5, I was happy. I still vividly remember that 10 feeling post transition, euphoric
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Same, I thought I wasn't dysphoric at first but turns out I had buried it for so long and it took some time to rise up from repression, and now that I am out and openly transitioning, it is hard to ignore it. But that being said gender euphoria helped more with discovery than GD.
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I read zinnias list about how dysphoria can mask as dissociation and weirdly found that I had written a comment noting how my life is impacted daily. Wearing a binder improves it. that showed me how I lived through a dysphoria induced filter since I was 13 without me noticing.
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What we focus on expands
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