I see what you're saying, although I was surprised to see you use an idiom with such a colonialist/paternalist history. (I don't have a good alternative, but am seeking one.)
Somehow the word that came to mind reading this was "cargo cult".https://twitter.com/SarahLerner/status/992926506702655488 …
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Yeah, there's a lot wrong with the whole "cargo cult" narrative and I have serious doubts about whether it actually happened as told. Probably should avoid using it, in sw too.
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Let me know if you come across a good replacement.
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There's a *significant* portion of young men who are totally clueless about women - what they like, what they want, how they function. Women are like a totally different species to them, and they just can't figure things out. And society does a *terrible* job of explaining this.
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Obviously those who turn into women-haters and murderers are beyond help, but they're a radicalized fringe of a much larger group that could be turned into decent, balanced, emotionally stable people if they were just taught what seems obvious to us.
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There's a much deeper level on which the incel/MRA/etc. types are wrong though: the idea that the circumstances one one's birth, early socialization, and choices made for them by others do and should limit their rights and opportunities.
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Even if you have no idea how to pursue or conduct romantic or sexual relationships or navigate gender dynamics, it should be dead obvious wrong that ~50% of humanity is born with lesser rights.
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Of course, but my point is when you have basically no life experience and your only interaction with women is "they reject me", you *do not see* male privilege, and bootstrapping awareness is incredibly hard. Do not underestimate cluelessness. I've *been* there.
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