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Regardless of your not meaning it as such, your comment comes across as concern trolling, and uses a lot of phrasing that will be read as dogwhistles like "identity politics", "extreme", and "unfair [to group not at personal safety risk or any disadvantage due to 'unfairness']".
If someone who constantly deals with aggression and threats due to hetero- and cis-normativity sometimes or always feels more comfortable not being around straight people, their mentioning that is not hurting you or reason for you to advise them not to "hurt their cause".
That is very true, and the reason why I removed myself from her mentions. Now there are several things: 1. We NEED to be able to have a conversation about identity politics without it being read as a dogwhistle. Seriously, fuck those guys, I want to reclaim discourse.
No. "Identity politics" is not something we need to discuss at all, because it's a framing invented and used by awful people.
Then what is the right take? If someone publicly says they've been abused by straight people, what is it, if not categorization by identity? I don't feel *threatened* by it, but I don't think it's *right*; am I wrong about this, and why?
You're probably wrong about it.
If someone says this, it doesn't mean all straight people are abusive. It means they've been hurt sufficiently badly, or sufficiently many times, by things individual straight people have done, intentionally or unknowningly, in a context of heteronormativity, that...
...the pattern is relevant to their self-care/self-defense. And, being in a context of heteronormativity, stating the pattern is not creating any side-effect of disadvantage/harm/threat-of-safety to other straight people who were not the ones responsible for the harm.
With the roles reversed (but still the heteronormative context), there would be no systemic/normalized harm, at most very individualized acts of harm, and trying to state that as a pattern would further systemic disadvantage/harm/threats to the group as a whole.
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