This is how your friends should react when you tell them you made the fantasy playoffs
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Rhett Reese
@RhettReese
Writer/producer. Deadpool 1 & 2, Zombieland 1 & 2, Joe Schmo 1 & 2, Life, Six Underground, Wayne. Novel 'Anxiety' available on Amazon for $4.99!
Joined May 2008
Rhett Reese’s Tweets
I feel for the writers of the new ‘Avatar,’ who have to watch a TV ad where the two featured lines (back to back, separated by five seconds) are, ‘Let’s do it!’ and ‘Let’s get it done!’ This always happens.
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A friend has launched this startup to turn canned food on its head! Available at Sprouts now…
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HEYDAY CANNING
it’s a fresh but moderated updated take on canned classics —amazing balance
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Is 3-1 as ‘dangerous’ as 2-0? Asking for me.
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My relationship to US soccer.
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Season two of The Vow is stunningly good. Both seasons, tbh. Disturbing. Heartbreaking. Riveting. What a devastating cautionary tale.
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Having kids is basically a decade of running a restaurant where everything is sent back.
Goodbye again forever, Twitter is terrible.
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My wife and I are debating. Is this a Christmas costume?
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Tempted to offer Haase the job just to pry the basketball team from him.
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Keep Pep Hamilton far away. twitter.com/BruceFeldmanCF…
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If it could help just one person…
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Both players I was fervently hoping the Suns would draft when they were available to us.
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Thank you for this incredible honour. Thank you to my friends and family who turned me into a heaving, weeping mess of laughter, nostalgia and joy. It felt like I got front row seats at my own funeral but without all the inconvenient death.
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Please. Plunder was Warzone’s greatest mode. An absolutely riveting game when played for real and for keeps. Ultimately destroyed by folks using it to try to level up their guns.
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Also DMZ is 10x better than Plunder ever was. I know they’re way different, but it’s a logical comparison considering they’re both the “side” modes for Warzone.
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Yeah you got screwed. (we both did 😂)
I got you.
DM me your address.
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Replying to @JJWatt
they blew that play dead but you would’ve walked in the endzone…should’ve won $1000, wanna help a brotha out? 
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Both sides, please remember for tomorrow: if you win, it's because of "years of organizing." And if you lose, it's because you "didn't communicate clearly enough." Whatever happens, know your views are correct, the people are with you, and you don't need to change a thing.
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Content is king.
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Like the Sneetches!
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No blue check mark will soon be the new blue checkmark.
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You know how people use adjectives to name their Halloween costumes? ‘Sexy Nurse’ or ‘Scary Clown.’ Every costume of mine, the adjective would be ‘Half-Assed.’
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Was the WIV facing an acute biosafety emergency at its facilities? Read the full story from VF and :
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🚨🚨The Wuhan lab at the center of suspicions about the pandemic’s onset was far more troubled than known, documents unearthed by a Senate team reveal. Tracing the evidence, Vanity Fair and ProPublica give the clearest view yet of a biocomplex in crisis.
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People who list the days of the week starting with Sunday are beyond help.
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There is, sadly, no incentive if you're Michigan to play a tough schedule. None. If you win the two games that are tossups, you make the playoff. If you win *one* you might sneak in. Teams like Michigan can go full Floyd Mayweather and pick their spots.
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2023 Michigan Wolverines Football Schedule
fbschedules.com/2023-michigan-
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oh my god amsterdam looks *incredibly* realistic in the new call of duty — almost can’t believe this is a video game
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We wanted Joe Pesci for what turned out to Bill Murray’s role in Zombieland. We warned Pesci’s agent it was a small part. He said, ‘There are no small parts, only small money.’ It was a no.
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In the first year of the show when we were still on the rooftops @jga41agher emailed Obama's office asking if he'd come on. We got a note back that whoever in the office watched the clips we sent found the show charming but it was a no. We still cherish that response. A great no. twitter.com/trashtaeks/sta…
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Here’s what drives me crazy. This review in the GB-WSH is taking FOR-EVER. If it takes this long it’s not clear and obvious. Full stop. If they can’t over turn a call in a minute it’s not clear and obvious and should stand. Whatever the call.
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I swear to God, at some young age I angered the Gods of water pressure.
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Pheeewwwww.
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Baby Has Sinking Feeling He Left Home Without Oversize Multicolor Plastic Keys bit.ly/3StgJuB
read image description
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I haven’t once gotten excited my guys are suddenly putting pressure on the QB when it wasn’t a screen pass.
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Cool clothes don’t take me from uncool to cool, I take them from cool to uncool.
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Imagine a million dollar bill fluttering through your hands.
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Ridiculously spoiler free…
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Quick explainer video that tackles…
1) Timeline questions
2) Logan canon
3) MCU FAQ
4) Whether we can do this all day or not
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Hughe News.
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A play *breaks* down.
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He HAS to take off running - either by design or once a play break down - at least eight times a game. He's so intent on NOT running that the defense can now safely ignore his greatest asset, rather than being haunted by the specter of it every play. Things would open up! twitter.com/sbordow/status…
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He HAS to take off running - either by design or once a play break down - at least eight times a game. He's so intent on NOT running that the defense can now safely ignore his greatest asset, rather than being haunted by the specter of it every play. Things would open up!
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Here's what I don't understand about Kingsbury's play-calling: Cardinals are down several receivers. Why not use Kyler Murray's legs as a weapon? He ran the ball twice today for 8 yards.
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This. ‘Players’ is much better than many highly decorated TV shows. We need more.
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A show about esports on Paramount+ sounds like a demographic nightmare, but holy wow "Players" rocks. ew.com/tv/tv-reviews/
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