Raheem KassamVerified account

The British government never colonised me. They colonised YOU. That’s why you’re thick. State education.

Raheem, where were your parents born?

Do you want him to prefix his answer to you with “Sir”, and mumble it with respect and in appreciation?

He prefers “master” and he thinks I should be eating rotli instead of bacon and eggs. He also wants me to wear a shalwar kameez instead of my three piece suit.

Ah, I see we've skipped ahead to the making-shit-up portion of the show, very good, very good.

Let’s hang out at the Graham near your office one night. I’ll help you understand why brown people don’t like you.