the weird thing is, for me it happened after i decided that trying to have agency was bad and that i would no longer try to "have an effect"
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some people like to be poetic or mystical or deep about how they always end up accomplishing something different than what they had intended for me it's entirely mechanical, basically boring: i always get the exact opposite of what i decide i want
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Replying to @QuasLacrimas
So if you decide you want something not good do you get something good or just something not good in the opposite way
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Replying to @isionshyproper
I always think what I want is good, but if I get anything good it's not that
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Replying to @isionshyproper
if i get anything that i had decided was good it's bad, and if i get anything good it's something i had decided wasn't good
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the poem is - "here we see before us in light of day a Sisyphus, begging the people for honor and influence"
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