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by "tempo" i don't exactly mean the person who talks the fastest although that's correlated. i mean the person who interrupts the most quickly after someone else says something. ime almost always male, almost always someone who is not tracking quiet slow ppl in the conversation

in a 5+ person conversation with a person with fast tempo i get frustrated by the sense that i have to increase my tempo to stay in the conversation. i can do this but i don't enjoy it. it rushes my breathing and my thoughts, and quieter slower ppl get further crowded out

it's especially frustrating if you've just met and don't know each other well and there isn't necessarily trust and social buy-in in the air to make relatively aggressive moves like pointing out, live, that someone's tempo is too high and it's crowding other ppl out

i guess it's more tactful to just try to organically break up the conversation into smaller 2-4 person groups. a frustrating thing about online video calls is it's impossible to do this organically. irl you can just tilt your body slightly and pitch your voice a little different

also naturally part of the reason why this gets me going is because i also used to be more of a fast-tempo person who wasn't tracking quieter slower people until i got a bunch of feedback about this 😅

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VERY Insightful! 🧙🏽‍♂️

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I feel exactly the same 🙃

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Completely agree, some of the best large-group conversations I've had were in a setting where a norm was explicitly set that we should all be mindful of this dynamic Also my family has one person with a much faster tempo than everyone else so I think about this often 😂

Xavier

@Tropical_Xavier