I think it really depends on the dimension of change. I’ve been thinking about this a lot due to getting into intensive meditation, having some large implicit worldview changes happen very fast, and then retraumatizing myself and getting active PTSD with lots of anger & shame.
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Insight practices and psychedelics have a positive feedback effect — the more you practice, the more insight you experience, which makes getting into altered states easier, which makes experiencing more insight easier. You also get better at the techniques and mind moves involved
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Unfortunately trauma is also a positive feedback effect — if you experience a level of fight/flight/freeze-linked sensations that’s above a certain level, then you’ll link the other sensations in consciousness with danger & will experience more fight/flight/freeze in the future.
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hmmmmmmm shit
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Kind of curious here — do you feel like you’ve already been pushing into trauma positive feedback territory with meditation/psychedelics, or are you disappointed that future work might need to be at a slower pace?
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possibly already pushed into this territory, not sure. a big theme over the last... 6 months has been repeatedly realizing i've been in freeze and trying to get out of it, so i've learned it's easy for me to get stuck in freeze for ages and not notice
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That sounds familiar — for me it was trying some technique, feeling better for a little bit, ending up deeper in freeze, and looking for an even more intense meditation technique. Eventually I found an intense enough one and it tipped over to intense freeze and intense anger.
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Have you done any Somatic Experiencing therapy? I found that was great for learning to bite off manageable chunks & end up in freeze less and less.
Seriously good news though that it hasn’t been pushing you as much into anger - should be easier to work through if it’s not acute.
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i tried to make up a little of it on my own, mostly just shaking as it seems appropriate; that’s good to know
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The real benefit of SE is in the therapist monitoring you and prompting you to break out when the dysregulation becomes unhelpful instead of helpful for expanding your window of tolerance
Very helpful retraining — the time to break out was MUCH earlier than I would have expected
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