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I’ve heard the opinion a few times that people should have kids young, but have they considered that people tend to be relatively much worse people into their early 20s. My mothering abilities and conscientiousness have improved at least 18 times over since I was 23

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CAM

@CAMREAPHER

· Jul 4

u weren’t a bad person maybe u were just 19

QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)

@QiaochuYuan

Replying to

@altashtree

i think part of what keeps people relatively underdeveloped when they're younger is not being given meaningful responsibilities. if we had more of a culture of giving younger people actual things to do they might step up to the challenge just fine

4:54 PM · Jul 5, 2022Twitter Web App

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People have been having kids young for most of history though including when people had to take on many more responsibilities at younger ages

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and

If there were more cultural framework there, maybe? But I come from an area where the first kid for a lot of people tends to come anywhere from 16 to early 20s, and there was basically no correlation between having a kid and developing more maturity/responsibility

in the wilderless

@the_wilderless

Jul 5

In a couple cases, v much the opposite. One girl I know had her first kid at 16, and the last time I saw her, she was 23 and still acting like a 16 year old—just more exhausted and bitter

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and

I'm very sure that I'd be a much better parent now than I would have been at 23, and I don't think more meaningful responsibilities would have helped because the reasons why I would've been bad were to a large part unprocessed trauma.

ash

@altashtree

Jul 5

I agree as I feel responsibilities didn’t help me heal as much as intentionally healing and growing up through experience