As an artist, it's my job to know what's my job and what is not.
My job is to tell the truth.
My job is not to make moralizing statements, to be perfect, to be right, to win.
Conversation
My job is to be a fucking mess of a human being, and to keep the channel open and do what I have to do to honor what comes through it.
My job is not to look good, or to please people. My job is not to be an asshole in the name of art.
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My job is to tell the truth, as best as I can see it through my flawed human spectacles.
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Of course, I've had my head bashed against the rocks of humility, & learned the hard way that I can't decide what my truth is as a person or artist. I am beholden to something else.
Something asks to speak-- I only control whether I let it out or habitually ignore it.
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As the channel clears more and more in my life, remaining blocks get louder.
And this Leverage thing...there's a chink in my throat, a clenching.
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There are rules. There are consequences. Protocols, implications, dangers, hearts to think about every time I want to speak. There are vultures waiting. There are people close & far away who will lift their heads & pay attention, people I don't care about & people I love deeply.
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Of course, I don't feel it an option to be the sort of artist with no moral compass, no sense of civic responsibility or consequence. I won't recklessly tabloid people & confuse that for truth. I haven't done that & have zero interest in starting now.
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Given all this complexity...I don't come close to
arriving at an answer.
This tweet thread is a test, I suppose?
Can I merely state the problem?
Can I dance on the edge of danger?
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Can I ask strangers and friends on the internet to see the challenge I'm facing and just hold it with me?
Is that a step towards authenticity?
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I don't know the consequences of even posting this much! Maybe I'm feeling reckless, or maybe I'm figuring it out. Anyway.
Thanks for sticking w me if you have this far if you have on this long thread, heheh. We'll see how it goes.
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Replying to
been running into sort of similar questions re: how much i want to talk about my own experiences / turn them into art somehow so really appreciate this reflection 🙏